mrtl

On Collective Nouns

I've a little confession to make. Part of my time away from blogging was spent making friends. I know - crazy! Crazier still is the process... involving the subculture that is the Mommy Group. I never thought I'd join one of these things; far be it for me to think I'd want to be friends with someone just because we both have kids. It didn't quite work that way, though. I joined, and I met some women I wanted to spend more time with than others, so I tried my best to do that. In the case of Alaskan Mama, who was most verbally anti-Mommy Group from the moment I met her, I sucked her into that vortex and she hasn't looked back. (Well, maybe just a little. But she didn't escape.) mwahahahaha

Now that I'm (again) moving to a place where I know no one, I'm emboldened to consider starting up my own Mommy Group. Having had great leadership in the group in Alaska, I think I have a handle on how it should be run. (I'm idealistic as hell, you know.) The one thing I'm most hung up on is what to name the group. My philosophy on this is that I don't want to feel embarrassed about walking into a restaurant and telling the hostess that I'm there with [insert embarrassing Mommy Group name here]. As much as I loved the Alaska group, the name? Terribly embarrassing quotient for restaurants.

Driving across country with mister mrtl and no Bugs, there's a lot of time to ponder such conundrums. Like, if it includes the word "mommy," there should at least be a cool acronym to use in its place. Or, should it include the location? We're not sure yet where we're going to live, so I'd have to wait to consider names based on that. I shared my mystery with mister mrtl, the subject of collective nouns came up. What, exactly, is the collective noun for "moms"? I've researched this profusely online to no avail. Anyway, here are some of the ideas that we shot back and forth (I'm sure you'll be able to tell which ones were his ideas.)

• Babes in the 'Burbs
• Suburbanistas (need to research this one to make sure it's not the name of a porn shop somewhere)
• A Bunch of Moms
• A Murder of Moms (immediately shot down because the acronym is MOM - duh)
• A Flock of Moms
• A Herd of Moms (yes, I wanted to slap him for this, too)
• A Gathering of Moms
• A Rack of Moms

This last one. Whenever I came up with another idea, he would simply repeat, "Rack of Moms!" When we had dinner with one of his headbanging imaginary friends (hi John!), he shared his brilliance. Of course, the friend agreed that "Rack of Moms" was the best, after offering "Gaggle of Moms." ::slap - ugh, men::

~*~*~*~*~*~

Update: Suburbanistas won't work. It's been defined, I took the quiz and am totally not a Suburbanista. Wouldn't want to confuse anyone. GAH!

You know you're watching too much Project Runway...

... when you check in on the painters, and upon leaving have to willfully bite your tongue to keep from saying, "Carry on." Not enough paint? Make it work.

Too Lazy to Google It

I just saw an ad for one of the Law and Order shows -- can't keep the damned things straight and I couldn't really care less -- that features some extreme fighter "and Ice Tea's wife, Cocoa. Cocoa Tea? That's just gross.

Make that Three Poops

Part Poop III

Tonight we (my parents, the bugs and I) went to dinner at one of the nicer joints in town, the one that has the scratch margarita that I keep hearing raves about. My father and I each had one. Limey limey goodness! It was pretty strong and just about knocked me on my ass.

It came in a regular-sized tumbler (which is an important detail to mention to mister mrtl, who well remembers the pickling of the Bug); about 1/3rd into it, Bug announced she had to go to the potty. Away we went.

As usual I spent my time in the stall with Bug dancing to the ghey music. She announced she had to poop, so I got in a couple songs. When she was finished and stood up, I gazed with fascination at her work.

There it stood. Yes, it stood. A few inches in length. Upright. And I, buzzed by the limey goodness, giggled and whispered (probably much too loudly in retrospect), "Wow! It's a totem poopie, Bug!" She beamed with pride, and said, "Yeah!"

Or maybe I should just go with some unpronouncible symbol...

A month or so ago, mister mrtl and I had a conversation about changing the spelling of my nickname. My nickname is not my given name -- at least not the one on my birthday certificate (although it is the spelling that my parents chose), -- so I didn't feel any moral or legal obligation to the spelling of it when I decided in fifth grade that the y in "Cathy" was too old fashioned and changed it to "ie," which was much more young and hip. A couple years after that, I still felt no moral or legal obligation when "ie" became way too immature, so I dropped the e. I've not changed it since.

::tangent to pay some respect and then some::
Grandma always made me feel warm and fuzzy. She'd pick up on the changes pretty quickly and humor them without a disparaging comment. It took a while for others to catch on. Some still haven't caught on, but I don't blog about work so won't say any more there. hee

What follows is another tangent, but I'm trying to get this damned post finish so I can get my horny toes on so won't bother with format. This explanation could be considered another tangent... now my head is starting to spin.

Makes me think there's going to be some resistance to others picking up on this now. My elementary school mates adjusted very well, but I dropped the e in conjunction with a move. Either way, making such a change as an adult would be quite the interesting experiment.
::end tangent to pay some respect and then some::

So we're talking about why I shouldn't stir things up by changing it yet again, this time maybe even to some spelling that seems totally incomprehensible but works. You remember the old joke where you write down "ghouti" and explain how it's pronounced "fish"? (I think it was ghouti, anyway, and remember the gh was like in laugh and the ti like in nation... can't remember what the i sound was from.)

Whatever, back to me. To change the spelling, I wouldn't start off with a K, since that would mean three of us would have names starting with K's, and three K's is just wrong, especially when we're calling Jem "Juju" regularly. What would people think? So it would have to start with a c, unless there's some other letter to use... ::blank:: Let's think about it.

I bet that if I go Irish with this I could really make it interesting. After all, Caoimhín is the Irish form of Kevin. WTF?

c... ch like in school
... qu like in Quinlan
... gh like in Turlough

::quick tangent to consider renaming with gh::
I don't think so.
::end quick tangent to consider renaming with gh::

a... au like in laugh
... ae like in Aengus (see namenerds)
... agh like in Clodagh

Good call on the Irish pronunciations, mrtl! Weee!

::tangent to digest a name::
Fineen means "wine-birth."
::end tangent to digest a name::

th would have to stay, unless anyone out there has any bright ideas.

i... e like in Bedelia
... ee like in Colleen
... ei like in Neil
... ea like in Kean
...aoi like in Saoirse

I think we have a winner.

Quaghthaoi

Whatdyathink?

----

Update: Andrea rocks!

if you really want to change the -th- to something, and seriously want to throw people off...well, this is not irish at all, it's not even the english alphabet...but you could stick a theta θ in there :)

This is just what my nickname needed: a symbol. (Hey, if I could train myself to do the special programming for Hänni, I can do it for myself as well. (What's the shortcut for this, though? I can't find it and would have to copy/paste.)

Quaghθaoi it is!

Anchorman

Sitting here writing up a post and the local news comes on. It's been a while since I've watched this one. I remember Jim Vance (oooh - check out his Alaskan adventure!); he's been the anchor on DC's NBC affiliate for many years now. What I don't remember is the earring in his left earlobe. It's rather distracting.

Didn't middle-aged ear piercing go out in the late 80's with the rattail? gah

hmmmm...

Chinese fortune:

Soon, a visitor shall delight you.

hmmmmm...

I just saw a commercial for "Days of Our Lives." I don't watch stories; seeing the commercials is enough, you know?

Anyway, this commercial showed an apparent custody dispute over this cute little curly-haired girl; she's abducted (by the father?) and now they're "on the run." I swear it's the same cute little curly-haired girl from "What About Brian," a show I do watch. In WAB, the cute little curly-haired girl is the daughter of a couple that just separated (and not yet in any heated custody dispute), and she was just found to be hearing impaired.

I'm concerned for this cute little curly-haired girl. TWO broken families?? Chaos? Abduction? Deafness? What this all must be doing to her fragile psyche.

mrtl's sufferage

It is nearing the end of my second day of crunch-time dieting. I'm more frantic after the discovery today that my Halloween binge cost me a 1.5-pound setback. EEK! Plus we've been invited to the Land of Seafood Crepes with Spicy Alfredo Sauce for dinner this week, and Moms' Night Out is coming up, too.

My current mantra is, "It's only two weeks." I can do this for two weeks. I've learned a way to sex up oatmeal and cook it in the microwave -- quick and yummy! -- for breakfast.

::tangent since I know everyone will be dying to know::
Mix 1/4 cup oatmeal, 2 tbs sliced almonds, 2 tbs wheat germ, 1/2 cup water. Nuke for 1 1/2 minutes. Enjoy!
::end tangent since I know everyone will be dying to know::

Then I got all domesticated-like and made some veggie soup. Hello lunch and dinner! Sure, there's other stuff I'm eating, but I'm avoiding bread, sugar, Bug's leftovers and all that other stuff. Do you know how hard it is to eat veggie soup without buttered bread? While Bug sits happily next to me munching on a piece of her own?

I tell you what, I make it through these two weeks successfully, I've more than earned a merit badge. And, if the stars should align just right, I'd be more than happy to gain it all back fucking up more pastries with my ladies. Yeehaw!

Bashing Heads

Anyhow, I'm catching up on the new season of Martha. Oh, ummmm... How did that go?

~*~Today Recently on "Martha"~*~

Papier mache with Joy Behar. They're making heads, attaching printouts of faces and yarn for hair. It's fucking creepy, but I'm intrigued. Martha is filling Rosie's head with crafting supplies and RingDings. Why not attach a strap so the thing could be used for a purse?

Oh my hat. They're pinatas. Joy's whacking at hers. How insane is this? How perfect for a angsty teenager's birthday party? Or for the heartbroken and vengeful? If I were to make a pinata, whose face would I use? I'll have to think about that.

Should I dare? Another crafting idea to wind up like my M&M paint, which is all dried out and still sitting in baby food jars on the kitchen counter? Or the pictures in the nicely painted frames waiting to be hung in the bedroom?