mrtl

Reality Check: The Meddlers Aren't the Kids

Now that my children are getting older, the sugary sweet cartoons on Noggin (forever Noggin - I won't call it "Nick Jr.") are no longer their go-to's. It's a shame, because I always hoped they'd get into "Yo Gabba Gabba," and I'll admit that I kind of miss "Wow Wow Wubbzy." I am not ashamed to say I miss Moose A. Moose, mostly because the man behind the voice is dreamy.

Sing to me, Paul Christie!

Exploring other channels, the girls now have some new favorites. I'm not very fond of "Power Rangers," although it is cute that Jem has our family's first imaginary friend in Mia. She ate dinner with us the other night, eating a cream cheese burrito. I won't judge you, Mia. "Courage the Cowardly Dog" is one I can handle; I suspect the writers are on drugs, but that may help the kids' creativity. It's really been wonderful to see the girls learn to appreciate the shows I loved so much as a kid. "Tom and Jerry" especially gets me to sit down and watch with them.

Then there's "Scooby Doo," which has turned into a total crap shoot. DirecTV provides a lot of filtering options for managing recordings, but it's not specific enough to select only shows taped prior to 1979 or otherwise without that obnoxious little fucker Scrappy Doo. Where's the "Jump the Shark" filter, DirecTV?? You fail me.

The first ten years of this show were magic. Then the producers had to go and mess with the formula by bringing in Scrappy Doo, whose voice along makes me start to dry heave. Then they had to go and reinvent all the characters' personalities so much that they're not recognizable anymore. Daphne and Velma are ridiculously swoony over Fred and Shaggy. Fred's not respectable at all, more flake than flare. Shaggy and Scooby are the biggest disappointments. At some point Shaggy stopped being such a stoner, being more of an average guy. Scooby has moved much more to the background in focusing on the crushes between the human characters. He's so neglected it's no wonder he hardly eats anymore; in the newer shows I haven't seen nor heard mention of Scooby Snacks. Scooby Dooby Doo, where the fuck are you?

Random Fact Found on Wikipedia: Mindy Cohn currently voices Velma. I loved me some "Facts of Life," but that alone isn't cutting it for turning my ire around.

Attentiveness to Detail FAIL

Update: Thrilling news! I SUCK AT GAUGE! Not that that's news. Anyway, when I stuffed those A-puppies, they're closer to a C/D than an A. The bigger ones may be too big. I'll still make a set, in case she wants to get her Dolly Parton on. Woot!

~~~

While knitting some tits for my friend who currently has none and is waiting ever-so-patiently to get some (not that kind of "some"), I realized why my first attempt rendered one that is horrendously disproportionate to the other. No problem here... got new pieces knit up and ready for stuffing.

But then... I discover my error. The pair I've almost finished are A-cups, not D. Of course she's going to want the three inches. DON'T ALL WOMEN WANT THREE MORE INCHES?!

I think I'll send the A's ahead while I get the D's knockered out.

What's the lesson learned here? Keep your titties ready.

mumbling and rambling

Yeah, so Calamity Jen asked if I'm still here. I am, just not inspired to do much writing. Maybe someday. I'm still paying, after all.

Oh, here's something for you. Today mister mrtl took Bug out to dinner, so Jem had a solitary bath. Afterwards, I draped the bear towel, complete with eyes and ears on the head flap, and she danced around her room singing, "I am a bear! I am a bear!"

Now let's all cross our fingers and hope that mister mrtl has read enough about Che for tonight and I can finally turn off the lamity that is "Millionaire Matchmaker," which has provided some entertainment for me while I killed some time before bed.

You're most welcome for the stimulating post. Be sure to vote for me in the Bloggies!

A Sign that I'm Losing My Mind

Mister mrtl left yesterday for a little vacay in the Middle East (har har), and here I am thinking that I've got it all under control.

Plans for today involve a lunch date for the work spouses' book club. I was mistakenly thinking it was at 11:30 and so planned to jump in the shower at 10:30.

Jump in the shower I did, though a tad late, then started panicking a little. Was it at 11 or 11:30? Fuck. Hurried through shower, ran out to check the email. Have I mentioned that I'm hosting this lunch date? That I set the time? OMG it was at 11.

Flashback. I'm 19. Living in San Diego and working just across the street from my Mission Beach apartment. The alarm didn't go off, and I woke up 15 minutes before my shift started. Frightfully in need of a shower, I was amazed that I was able to get there on time.

I knew I could do it in 20 minutes.

Rush, rush, panic, panic. What to wear? Sheeeeit. I glanced at my (digital) alarm clock. 9:47? Huh? Check watch...

My name is mrtl. I am 37 and still don't know how to tell time.

I totally could have made it.

Preparations ~ My Things to Do List

Following are all the things I will be doing tomorrow.

For Santa

1. Bake chocolate chip cookies
2. Eat enough to feel sick
3. Create letters from Santa
4. Print out letters from Santa
5. Make magical reindeer dust
6. Sprinkle magical reindeer dust in yard
7. Download Google Earth file for tracking Santa
8. Track Santa

For Trip

1. Pack
2. Don't forget anything
3. Locate pack list and make sure nothing's forgotten
4. Put everything in van
5. Set up DVD player in van
6. Triple-check that DVD's are in van
7. And snacks
8. And Jem's sunglasses

In General

1. Remember to eat
2. Remember to feed children
3. Take shower
4. Bathe children
5. Make and/or eat Christmas Curry (oh, hey, that's my entry for cookie exchange. was that last week?)
6. Sneak presents to the tree for unwrapping after dinner
7. Go to bed early (heading out after breakfast/unwrapping Santa's stuff in morning)
8. Clean up kitchen... shit
9. Remind mister mrtl to clean up kitchen
10. New: Return tile samples
11. New: Don't forget to leave out cookies for Santa
12. New: Finish laundry
13. New: Don't go insane from bouts with strong-willed child.

I've too much on my mind to blog about anything else, and there's a chance I won't be around. If so, I hope everyone out there enjoys their holiday festivities.

cup. couple. coupling.

It's been ages since we went to the National Zoo. We took Bug there, must have been the summer of '05 before we moved to Alaska. We got this cup that day.

We've been using it for some time now for rinsing shampoo and soap off the girls. How come I never realized before tonight that the image on the cup is of Tai Shan mounting Tian Tian? My mind... it's sharp as a knife.

We've been to the Columbia Riverbanks Zoo a couple times now. Both times, the turtles have been having a go. And every time the subject of the Riverbanks turtles comes up, others have said that they are always doing so when they're there, too. I wonder if they'll ever finish.

Regardless, in the spirit of the Panda Cup o' Love above, I've used my mad PhotoShopping skills to create a collector's cup for Riverbanks' patrons featuring these impassioned creatures. Bottoms up!

Randomness

It's funny how, when I've had half a drink, I am flooded with possible blogging topics. Of course, I'm also weak to self control and shall not save any of these topics for later days but will hog them all in one post.

Note to self: drink more.

Subtitle: Weiners

Today the girls and I went to a local park for a playdate. The park is surrounded by baseball fields, and many games were in progress when we arrived. Parked near the playground was the Oscar Meyer Weinermobile.

(No, this isn't the one, but I can't be bothered with a search for best pic.) Now many may think that Sumter is one of the most backwoods places ever, but I tell you what, if the Weinermobile will grace Sumter with its presence, then that's obviously not the case. How many of you have seen the Weinermobile? Do you have a Weinermobile-shaped whistle (which suspiciously looks like a penis) to show for it? Yah, I thought so.

Subtitle: Acclimating (omg in my buzziness I've forgotten how to spell - is this right?)
eta: Thank you for the correction, mister mrtl.

I've mentioned that I was going to start a moms' group here, and I have, and it's coming along... slowly. Church is pretty big here -- go figure -- and so many already have their social outlets intact.

::tangent to mention my voting experience::
While in line to vote, a linemate said something about coming to vote to see the neighbors she hadn't seen in four years. I replied that I, shamefully, didn't know many of my neighbors yet. She asked where I lived. Turns up she's on my street. The girls had even nick-named her house ("Butterfly House," for the butterly-attracting bush by her mailbox). We chatted, and I learned that she has a babysitting daughter and is involved in a neighborhood Bunco group and asked if I'd be interested in sitting in for absentees. Woo! My foot! It's in the door!
::end tangent to mention my voting experience::

Anyway, I've learned one major thing from my organizing experience: I'd much rather be an Ass Organ. An Ass Organ (Assistant Organizer) is soooo much better. Ass Organs don't have the pressure on them to deliver the playgroup goods to the membership. They don't have to guess where the members want to be, and when they'll be able to be there. They don't have to try measure after measure to get members to participate in message board chatter. They don't have to deal with the unpleasantries of turning members away or kicking existing members out for not meeting the most minimal of expectations. How I wish I were an Ass Organ again. Oh to have the power without the responsibility! SUCK!

Subtitle: Salt vs. Pepper

One day, as I went to sprinkle some salt on something, I discovered a fucking bug in the salt shaker. He was a wee bug, but he was in the freakin' salt shaker! Today as I grinded pepper into my egg, the thought occurred to me that I wouldn't notice a bug in the pepper.

Pepper. It may have protein in it.

Local News

Quote: "They call me nosey, but I thank God for this nose that He gave me to smell out trashatory things."

My Week

Jumping on the NaBloPoMo bandwagon, I am going to attempt to post every day in November. For those of you who still tune in despite my random scatterings, you may want to look away. The forced nature may be too ugly.

To keep tonight easy, I'm just going to tell you about my week. Lots of busy-ness here.

• Waited anxiously for phone call from doctor about test done that never came.
• Ate too many chocolates (and not-so-yummy leftover pinata filler from Bug's birthday party). Blamed the anxiety.
• Determined to make it through Halloween (and another weekend worrying), I took the extreme measure of going Atkins.
• The first full day of Atkinsing, Jem sliced her forehead open when she tripped and hit the corner step of our kitchen floor. Blood was everywhere. Ambulance called and gave her a ride to the hospital, where she was glued back together. She handled it all extremely well, and was very excited about the Dora and Blue's Clues stickers and blown-up-latex-glove balloon.
• After returning home from the hospital, I wanted nothing more than a drink (or a dozen fun-sized Twixes or Snickers), but I resisted. This is HUGE, folks.
• I knitted a pair of socks for Jem, but learned today that they fit Bug much better. Camera broken, otherwise I'd proudly post a picture. I usually don't mess with socks, but needed something "easier" than the lace I'd been messing with.
• The 2009 Yoshi Calendar went up for early ordering. I still am squeeeing over it.
• And while I have eaten mucho bacon over the last few days, I am struggling with the sight of so much chocolate. Bug has Reece's Cups in her ToT pail. ::drool::
• Hey! Wouldn't you know when I Googled to find a link to that post, my imaginary friend's blog was the first hit.

On a serious note, I learned tonight about T.J. Darrisaw, a 12-year-old who was killed last night while trick-or-treating about a mile away from our house. My heart goes out to his family and loved ones.

I'm a Whore for the Backyardigans

Mister mrtl may be happy to hear that Tom is no longer my #1 MySpace friend. I'm a little stunned over it myself, but when I received the email today from the North Charleston Coliseum, which is hosting the Backyardigans Live tour next month, saying that I could win FOUR FREE TICKETS for making them one of my top three friends, I knew what I had to do.

Tom is now #2. Mister mrtl is #3.

So what if I already have tickets to take Bug next month? The more the merrier, for sure!

Tom, don't worry, hoss. If I don't win, I'm fixin' to put you right back in your spot. (Note the local linguistics I've picked up. I heard "I'm fixin'" today at an appointment and adopted it right away. I'm fixin' to use it all the time.)

Homeless but Hopeful

There's been a change of plans. After finding that the commute is much too long for comfort, we won't be living in the big city but in a small town closer to base. We spent the weekend learning about the area and driving through neighborhoods.

Today we met with a realtor and were able to see a few houses. I remember the excitement about finding The House in Alaska, moreso because I felt it today. My pulse raced as we walked to the front door, and I found myself swooning ever so slightly as we walked through. Granted, the inside of the house will need some love, but the yard is an absolutely fabulous wet dream. We'll be putting in an offer tomorrow. Hopefully it will be accepted and we'll be good to go. Otherwise, the backup plan -- a gorgeous house with a not-so-kid-friendly yard -- is in place. Changes will be needed in either residence, but I think we have our bases covered.

If only the fabulous yard could be put on the gorgeous house. I tingle just to think of it.