Asshole Heavy IKEA Shelf Boxes in My Van

Know how to have a good time while the husband is out of town? Go to IKEA and buy EXPEDIT shelves.

::tangent about EXPEDIT storage box project::
Our dining room is such a waste of space. We never eat in there unless we have more people than can fit at our four-top kitchen table (which is never). Once upon a time (which was five years ago) we sold our dining room set and made it into a playroom. Last year we got a new set. I've decided to use the space also for crafts.

Phase 1 was making a large placemat for the table (although I found this while looking for the first link and ::swoon:: too bad my table is expandable or I'd want to do this!). I haven't made that yet because it involves sewing and I suck at sewing so maybe I should just change the order of the Phases but fuck it.

Phase 2 was getting the EXPEDIT shelving units and…

Phase 3, which until halfway through the last sentence was a part of Phase 2, but really should be its own Phase because EXPEDITS are a pain in the ass to assemble, especially when children are sleeping, was fabricating false file drawer fronts rather than spending a shit ton on 13x13 storage boxes.

Phase 4, which I'm kind of in right now -- but with only one EXPEDIT almost all the way put together because my hand is killing me from the torque on the Allen wrench -- is where I stop and bitch about what a pain in the ass this whole project business is, and why did I start this project tonight when I have other important things to be working on…

Phase 5 is where I realize that I have justified WALKING AWAY from this project and letting myself regroup with a glass of wine and another episode of "Terriers" on Netflix while I play with my friend's new tits.

::tangent about Netflix::
Netflix is an instant hit in this house. My initial plan was to watch "Breaking Bad," which I've never seen but have heard was really good. (And by "have heard" I mean that I saw the Jesse guy -- apologies to the Jesse guy because I don't read much anymore, and that includes credits -- on Conan a couple times and had that mental note to watch the show when I got the chance, which is pretty hard to do when you don't subscribe to a certain channel, you know?) Anyhoo, last night that booger Netflix decided to only let me watch a couple episodes of "Breaking Bad" before rendering the controls inoperable. I switched over to "Terriers," which I've seen before but not only do I know it's good, but it's only one season, so even if I got too drawn in to switch back, I wouldn't be away for too long. 

::tangent about plans gone awry::
See, now, this here is EXACTLY why people with ADHD should not make plans. Do you see the trend? DO YOU?!?
::end tangent about plans gone awry::

::tangent without a name because I'm tired to coming up with them::
Still waiting for the reunion show, by the way.
::tangent without a name because I'm tired to coming up with them::

::end tangent about Netflix::

Phase 6 is taking to the blog and posting some bad poetry after confusing myself immensely with TOO MANY TANGENTS.
::end tangent about EXPEDIT storage box project::

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Asshole Heavy IKEA Shelf Boxes in My Van

Three 75-pound boxes
To get into the house
But I got no man
I got no man

I'm so hot
With this humid air
But I got no man
I got no man

Gonna be sweatin' heavy
And smellin' funky
But I got no man
I got no man

After the kids are sleepin'
I'll be bangin' all night long
But I got no man
I got no man

Comments

[Krankypants]

Oh crap! I am not kidding when I tell you I BADLY hurt my back assembling EXPEDIT shelves all by my lonesome. It has never been the same since and will now "go out" on me when I do other strenuous activities like shaving my legs and napping. Hire somebody to do it. Seriously.