Mean Mommy Karma Exemplified

Yesterday I snuck to Target when I realized I've not yet gotten tasking for work. Target Heaven is a 40-minute drive, situated in a shopping center on the East side of Columbia with a Panera, Qdoba, World Market, Bed, Bath and Beyond, Pier One, and Starbucks (separate store, in addition to the Starbucks inside the Target -- really, people, is it too much to fucking ask that Sumter gets a Starbucks when there are TWO within 200 yards of each other? WTF??).

While there I didn't find anything I actually went there to find. Go figure. Still, I had my caramel mocha and a wonderful time hanging out with friends and their adorable eye-poking, toy-grabbing, giggling, sparkly, cheez-it-eating two-near-olds. I didn't leave empty-handed because I found Mr. Men mini stuffed critters, getting Mr. Bump for me and Little Miss Chatterbox for Bug.

::Little Miss Chatterbox tangent::
One day Bug wanted to talk to Mom Mom, so we called and Bug went off with the phone. I could vaguely hear Mom Mom on speakerphone from my distance. Some time later I heard Bug burst into tears and begin quite the diatribe. "MOM MOM!" ::whimper, sniff sniff:: "I wanted to tell you something, but you were being a chatterbox and wouldn't let me talk, and now I've forgotten what I was going to say." ::full-blown sobbing:: "You should know better!" Poor Mom Mom could say nothing to better this insult.

Bug called Mom Mom on the way to pick up Jem to tell her about her new Little Miss Chatterbox, who was even holding a cell phone. FCU
::end Little Miss Chatterbox tangent::

I also found some Cars big girl panties for Jem. And by big girl panties I actually mean boy-style big girl panties, complete with genital access openings.

After picking up the girls and getting them home, I presented the still unpotty-trained Jem with the new undies that match the new toothbrush she picked out the other day. She wanted to put the Tow Mater ones on, and so my genius brain made a deal with her. If she didn't have any accidents in her Tow Mater panties, I'd take her and Bug to EdVenture -- freaking awesome!! -- on Sunday. Within a half hour she was announcing a poopy (translation: pee) and all bets were off. No second chances with another pair. I'm so mean.

Half an hour later, sitting lotus-style, I sneezed and wet my pants.

Way to make me feel like I'd be a hypocrite to not take them, Karma. Bitch.

Comments

[Susie]

I need to see these Mr. Men. And I thank you for wetting yourself. With my latest virus-type illnesses, I've been peeing when I cough. Cough/pee/curse is my pattern. I thought it was because I'm old. But you're not old; so that can't be it.

[William]

Do YOU have big boy panties? Maybe they would work for you.

[jen hanson]

Do you have the Mr. Men and Little Miss book series ? They could have matching books to go with their characters ... FCU !
Little Miss Chatterbox, Mr. Sneeze, Mr. Bump ...

http://www.amazon.com/Little-Miss-Gift-Set-Mr/dp/0843126868/ref=pd_cp_b_1?pf_rd_p=413864201&pf_rd_s=center-41&pf_rd_t=201&pf_rd_i=0843178426&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_r=12RZA685FCBPSNNQJ009