mrtl

Processing

This new person has come into my life like a whirlwind. It's insane to think that I met her less than two weeks ago. She is insanely creative and high-energy, and a risk-taker. She's incredibly fucking perceptive as well, or at the very least she's one of those rarities to let her perceptions be known (just one example of the risk-taking). Either way, she's got me thinking, processing, digging, introspecting if you'll allow me to verbatize some wordage.

She's dancing with me, and I get that. Voicing directly to me what she had to say was certainly crossing a boundary, a face-to-face conversation most likely awkward. Putting it down for me to read would be better. Good call. Cyber-distancing allows that chance to think before responding. My writing this post is engaging in the dance.

::tangent for forewarning::
Verbal diarrhea ahead. Please excuse more mixed metaphors that will appear.

p.s. And whining.

::tangent on postscript in forewarning::
I realize that this is definitively incorrect. I'm over it. Please join me.
::end tangent on postscript in forewarning::

::end tangent for forewarning::

My mind is flooded. I love it when someone makes me think, gives me that kick in the ass I need to engage my brain, but I feel overwhelmed and don't know where to start. The brain has done some atrophying over the last several months. Even blogging daily for some time didn't do it for me. Nor have other things, but I'm getting ahead of myself.

Of the thoughts blogged by... I suck at third-person writing... What to call her?... More brain drain... Crafty Girl - CG... k, let's continue.

Of the thoughts blogged by CG, several warrant response. Primarily was the following:

there is a sadness I feel in them and it’s not really my business to ask yet

The quick and easy answer is that CG has a beautiful 6-week-old son, and the timing for being near that sweetness is a little too close.

The longer answer isn't one I have yet but am working on with help. I've started to write a post about it, and that's probably how I fell off the wagon in the first place. I didn't know how to address it, so I let it go. Let it all go. ::sigh::

What I do need to make clear is the answer is not God. I've already forwarded my Examination series to her. (Note: Part IV isn't linked to the rest.) It's depression, a funk that settled on me once we got here that hasn't quite lifted. I blame South Carolina and my sensitivity to outside influences. This place sucks and the adjustment has been very hard, especially after enjoying Alaska so much. I've been trying to get over it, focusing on meeting people through Rack of Moms and enjoying my family and what South Carolina has to offer (which mostly involves lengthy car rides - ugh). If anything, God is too prevalent and... segregating?... here. While I've finally gotten to a point where I can say without shame that I don't go to church (in response to that church home question), I feel very judged by it. Again with the organized religion preaching loving everyone, when really it only means if they believe in the same God you do. Jesus would totally not approve of that, so I'll just keep my Jesus to myself.

I also realize that this is our first move that wasn't followed by an immediate pregnancy. Nothing like hormones and house preparation to distract one from anxiety. Mister mrtl and I are pretty sure we don't want such a South Carolina souvenir, which is probably why I considered getting a cat.

There's more here, but it's lunchtime. Gotta feed the spawn, which should stop Jem from scratching up the coffee table with her Filipe Handy Manny screwdriver.

The Furlough Song

I'll be keeping track of my productivity during my time away from work! Maybe I'll even try to rhyme and keep a rhythm to it! Woo woo!

---

On the first day of furlough,
cleaning bathrooms was what it was about!
After a little pout
I scrubbed all the grout,
cleaned mirrors, sinks and spouts,
and paint chips I did scout.

Bringin' 'Em Up Right

Bug, watching "Tom and Jerry," sees the scene in which Jerry is stuck in a soda pop bottle. Tom shakes the bottle and Jerry is concerned.

To me, she says, "Mommy, Jerry's about to explode. I don't mean in his pants, but out of the soda bottle."

Now Playing at the MRTL Household: Sick and Suck

Sick: The bugs were feverish and spent the day home today. Bug's temperature is still high enough to warrant another day at home, and she also managed to get herself a goopy eye. Weeee! So much for spending my Friday baking cup pies in anticipation of mister mrtl's return (we won't consider that I took that out of the plan of action several days ago) and speed-cleaning for my Ziploc House Party on Saturday. Instead we'll visit the doctor for some eyedrops and the rest of the day I'll try to distract her from the horrid thought that fixated her ire today, that she had RUINED her perfect attendance run and would not be winning an award because she missed a day. The party will be rescheduled; may I be strong enough to simply admire the boxes loaded with Ziploc goodness and not start unpacking it all. (OMG the Box Tops! The temptation to grab them all!)

Suck: Being a part-time employee (aka not salaried), I learned today that I may have the rest of the month without tasking. Just when I was finally settling into a routine here and getting back into the swing of working regularly. There's nothing to do. It's possible that it has to do with the economy, clients holding back on getting contracts cleared for action.

I'm trying to turn the suck into a positive, thinking about all I could get done with a free month. Some thoughts I've had so far include:

- Super-anal house cleaning (e.g., baseboards behind furniture, dusting top of blinds) and file sorting (e.g., teaching files, old bills)
- House repairs (Do I dare try these on my own?) and painting (nothing loud that would warrant repainting later, though)
- Obsessive exercising
- Knitting, and maybe learning how to use my sewing machine
- Volunteering (school, Red Cross, food bank, wherever)

Whatever I do, I want to take advantage of the "free" time. There's a chance that tasking could be available before the end of the month, so the sooner I get started, the better.