Over Waffles

Jem was talking over Bug at breakfast. She wasn't even talking really, but doing this really super annoying, "AHH! EHHH! AAAAAAAAH!" shit that Bug totally didn't appreciate because she was trying to say something to me. Bug says, "Be quiet, Jem! Stop acting like such a queen."

My heart almost burst with pride. I asked where she had heard that one. She said that she had just made it up, that Jem was trying to keep everyone from talking and acting like she was in charge, like a queen. Makes sense. Jem was wearing her princess shirt, so I made a comment that she was acting much more like a queen than a princess.

Then Bug went on a little tangent (sweet - gets that from me for sure) about how if a queen has a daughter it's a princess and if she has a son it's a prince, and something about them growing up and getting married. Whoa! Brothers and sisters don't marry. That ain't right. She conceded, and went on to say that she would not be able to marry Jem when they're older even if they weren't sisters because they were both girls and even if they did, they wouldn't be able to have children because there was no daddy around.

So then the conversation briefly turned to one about gay marriage rights (she says that it's mean to say that gay couples can't marry) and then onto a rather engaging discussion about adoption and surrogate parenting. She'd never heard of such things. How can those things happen? I tried to keep this as simple as possible, saying doctors can do amazing things these days -- taking what was needed from the daddy and putting it in the right place in the mommy, -- because she's not quite old enough to understand and appreciate the beauty of the utilization of a turkey baster for this purpose (see below).

Even though I'm sure it would make for an entertaining reaction, I'm hoping she won't try to share this conversation with her classmates and teacher.

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Date: Sun, 16 May 93 18:58:05 PDT
To: Fun_People
Subject: New uses for home utensils

From: Keith Bostic
From: Lafayette Journal and Courier, May 11, 1993  Page A2

"Gee whiz, Ma, it's a Rubbermaid"

By The Associated Press

Raleigh, N.C. -  A woman who volunteered to have a baby for her sister - and conceived using a turkey baster and doing a headstand - gave birth on Mother's Day.

The baby, John Franklin Wittle, was born at Rex Hospital in Raleigh, weighing in at 7 pounds, 12 ounces.  His aunt, Julie Johnson, 34, a single Navy lieutenant, endured a 20-hour labor to give her sister and brother-in-law a baby.

The sister, Janet Johnson had failed to become pregnant using more scientific means.  So she sterilized a $2.95 kitchen baster in the dishwasher, got her husband, Mark Wittle, to make his genetic contribution, then carried it to her sister.

Julie Johnson inseminated herself twice in August with Wittle's semen.  She stood on her head each time, while leaning against a wall.

Comments

[RzDrms]

it's a bit early, i realize, but january 20th is approaching quickly (wheee!), and my heart beat faster after reading your post and correlating it with tuesday. as the brady bunch sang, all those years ago: "when it's time to change, then it's time to change / don't fight the tide, come along for the ride, don't you see / when it's time to change, you've got to rearrange / who you are into what you're gonna be!"

[William]

I think Julie would have been better off just sleeping with Mark Wittle. It would not be in the paper.