mrtl: Heartburn

I've had heartburn since Monday. I've had heartburn before, but only when I was pregnant and carrying too much weight. No, I'm not pregnant, and having weighed myself and knowing that, despite munching off of four pies over the last week, I haven't gained such a significant amount of weight to bring on the heartburn, I can only contend that this heartburn is my body's involuntary, sympathetic reaction to the horrible event that occurred earlier in the week.

A friend in Alaska lost her baby to SIDS on Monday. He was beautiful and new -- just 5 weeks old -- and even though I never had a chance to meet him, I could practically smell his fuzzy little head through the pictures on my monitor and feel his soft, chubby cheeks. He'd been planned, prepared for, long in the making, anxiously awaited and adored by this loving family. And just like that, he was gone.

It's hard to imagine being in her shoes. I remember very well those first weeks, falling in love, the hormones so strong, the presence so surreal. The crushing blow it must be conjures an old lyric, "Take my heart! I want to lose it."

The little comfort I can find from my distance is knowing that my friend is surrounded by the most incredible group of people. I know that they're going to do all they can to support this family and help them live with this pain. I'll offer my hugs from afar and make a little list of reasons why I've said that she is one of my favorite people from my stay in Alaska.

- More Cowbell!

- Extending her friendship and introducing me to her insane circle of friends. This eclectic and diverse group had all shapes and sizes, colors, backgrounds, economic statuses, sexual orientations, religions and politics. No holds were barred; there were lively debates in this tribe that could -- and did -- turn into hostile arguments, but love and mutual respect were always there and hostilities never lasted long. If this invitation hadn't have happened, none of the following would have either.

- Dorkiness: Matching t-shirts for celebrations, and occasional matching outfits with her BFF.

- Entertainment: TMI at the sex toy party. Seriously, the lady could have been a little more discreet when asking which dildo our host recommended for anal during double penetration.

- Conviction: "I sing like an ANGEL!"

- Lack of Inhibition: Best karaoke I've ever witnessed was her rendition of "My Humps," sang full out and with unrestrained (and possibly choreographed) dancing.

- Honesty: When she realized that a blog she'd been reading belonged to someone she knew, she called me to let me know.

- Restraint: She didn't throw up in my van when I was DD for her BFF's birthday celebration.

- Encouragement: Weight loss group.

- Craftiness: Fellow knitting addict.

- Emboldening: My first karaoke.

- Fabulousness: Gay bars. I frequented a gay bar a couple years out of high school. It had been too long.

- Sweetness: Seeing the love between she and her husband.

- Recommendations: Best haircuts I've ever had.

- Randiness: Alaska State Fair Lumberjack Lust

I'm sure there's more. Many happy memories here. I could go on about the various personalities in the tribe, but that would take away the spotlight.

R, I love you, girl!