i am too spent from reliving my day here to come up with a clever title, and must go to bed now despite the stupid fucking yappy dog. maybe i'll think of a title tomorrow.

I had today's post all worked out in my head. It was going to contain a lot of bitching and moaning about how it sucks to be the "handy one."

::tangent for child comparison::
O.M.G. We had Bug cursing at 2 years, 7 months. Jem is closing in on 2 years, 10 months. We need to get on the ball!
::end tangent for child comparison::

You know, if I put you through the hell I endured today, then maybe you'll understand the immensity of my glee at the end.

Today I showed that I am most definitely not so handy as much as I am stubbornly incapable of admitting to failure. Mister mrtl is apparently the wiser one, knowing when NOT to start a task (as he is so bound and determined to finish what he starts come hell, high water, bursting blood vessels in his forehead, and cursing toddlers). He would sooner call a professional than start something that he's pretty sure he couldn't finish. I, on the other hand, will call in reinforcements to clean up after my failed attempts. Higher aspirations, some would call that.

It's important to mention that I was not alone today. Jem developed a fever last night and stayed home with me. Fortunately there was no more puking, but she was a grumpy little booger. Her demands must be met to exacting standards when she is well, lest her little stork kisses take on an eerie glow and she shoots fire out of her ass. It's worse when she's sick, since she wants what she wants, doesn't care if there are things she shouldn't have when sick, is fiercely independent, and tends to change her mind a lot, especially about "little" things like where the bowl is put on her little table (there NO THERE - NO! I DO IT!!) or what color spoon she's using. Fear of having a puking episode brought on by hysterical screaming over red, no purple, no red I WANT RED RED RED! I GET IT!! aaaaaah! (crumble to the floor and scene) makes me tend to indulge this quirkiness when she's sick. She demanded constant television, which I was ok with. It kept her still and quiet. However, when she got nasty and tried to hit me or told me, "Go away!" what she wanted is not accessible to her anymore and we head to the kitchen to hang out on a floor that would be easily cleaned up should she start riotous puking. Add that to trying to get some repairs done around the house, necessitating a trip to a couple stores (during which she was pretty decent - a snack helped), and you'll better understand my state of mind.

Two "small" tasks were on my list today: a leaky faucet and a flooded pool. Yes, flooded pool. Patience. Leaky faucets I have conquered before; unfortunately it wasn't until I got it pulled apart that I realized that I didn't have the right replacement washer. FAIL. Onto the pool. When our pool man winterized, he told us to try to keep the water and leaves off the cover. The cheap pump we got sucks... I mean doesn't suck... No, that's not right. It's not working well, and with the lot of rain we've had lately and the dropping of the leaves over the last couple weeks, the pool was looking pretty bad. Last night, one of the long water-filled weights holding the cover in place fell into the pool, and another was in there this morning. No more procrastinating. Today I bought a new pump. SOOOO many frustrating obstacles just getting the damned thing set up, only to end up setting it up backwards, setting it up the right way to have it start spraying water from a place that's not supposed to spray water, taking it apart to repair the leak (probably from setting it up backwards -- yes, I read the freaking directions, but I still managed to screw it up), not screwing the cover back on tightly enough (see, I even screw at screwing ::stupid AF tangent:: SO TO SPEAK ::end stupid AF tangent::), which resulted in smoke coming out of it the next time it came on and this rubber doohickey inside melting. FAIL

I'm sure I could have figured this out with the replacement rubber doohickey, but this is where I was saved by the mailman. He walked up to my back fence with his knobby knees (had to throw that in for my northern friends... yes, warm enough here today for the mailman to be wearing his knickers) and told me he had a package from Canada to sign for. He also mentioned in what I'm seeing commonly and shall refer to as the SCJATAI (South Carolina Judgmental Attempt to Acquire Information), that I must have been out there for a while because he had knocked on my front door about a half hour before and told my little one to get her mommy but she must have had better things to do and didn't come back and so he decided to try again when he was about to leave our neighborhood.

I didn't respond. He didn't know that I checked on her regularly and that it absolutely surprised me that she actually left her "Little Einsteins" video for ANY amount of time to visit him at the front door. In retrospect, I should have said something about how it probably wasn't such a good idea to leave her alone in there for so long with the fireplace going and the knives and all medications and cleaning solvents opened on the kitchen floor. Asshole.

Anyway, back to the box. The lovely Frauline sent goodies. OMG the goodies! Smarties, coffee-flavored kit kat things, clustery chockies (haven't opened them yet), MOOSE-shaped pasta, some cute pencils, and some Yoshi awesomeness. Total squeee! I ate one of the coffee-flavored things and gave Jem some Smarties because the look she gave me when she saw I was happy was not pretty. The Smarties made her happy, too, until they were all gone and I wouldn't give her anymore. Still, that five minutes? Priceless. Thanks Kranki!

Comments

[Bente]

Were they Coffee Crisps? Because I can't wait to have one of those when we move back home. Yumm!

And, yeah - that day seems like a harsh one. Even though it all fell to shit I still really admire your efforts to fix all those things!

[Amber]

I'm so sorry Honey. Imagine I came to the rescue with vodka, knitting and Graham Norton. In our pajamas. I hope tomorrow is so much better.

I'm going to send you some duct tape for that Jem. You probably can't buy that in SC either.