Treasure

One day mrtl joined Bug in the potty. Bug was washing up, and mrtl couldn't wait. When she sat down, Bug had finished washing her hands and was busy with something over by the door. She then stands and says, "Hey Mom! I found a new toy!" She held up this miniature baseball bat.

"OOOOH!" mrtl said, "it's another one of Edgar's toys!" (Edgar -- not his real name -- came over for a playdate recently and managed to lose several of his little boy toys, so mrtl and Bug had been on the lookout for them.) "Good looking! Give it here and I'll put it with the others." Bug handed the toy to mrtl.

This was a weird baseball bat. No worries, thought mrtl, Edgar likes Transformers, so it probably can become a robot or something. She turned it over in her hand to check it out. It was then...

Gah - no amount of third-person writing can help mrtl escape the horror in the discovery that this was not a toy, but an insertion tool for a feminine hygeine product. that she had been holding in her hands. that Bug had been holding in her hands. and playing with. thank jebus she didn't try blow into it, thinking it was a horn. she'll pretend anything is a horn.

"Where did you find this?" mrtl asked her daughter.

"In the trash can!" was the happy response.

"Wash your hands, please."

"But I just washed them!"

"And then played with something from the trashcan. Wash them now!"

As horror gave way to panic gave way to insanity, mrtl could then not help but to laugh at the predicament. It only went to show that no matter how many times one tries to teach the lesson to never take anything out of a trashcan, discarded toys will never count as trash.

Comments

[Ern]

Ewwwwww!

[Amber]

Thank god I haven't had any of THOSE lying around for awhile! I'm still mooing.

[RzDrms]

WT...?! goodness gracious, that's hilarious (and gross!)! well, since you already have one of those, i have no idea what to get you today for your BIRTHDAY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MRS. MRTL!!! as a gift, i give you this fabulously bizarre story to read. :) ::blove and hugs!::