mrtl

Crushing Yoshi from Alaska

While I'm in Maryland now, I created this while I was still in Alaska. Blogger didn't cooperate to make this Kranki's Friday Crush, so I'm posting it here. If she can make it work, I'll delete this post.

The double crush.

Thanks, Kalki

For introducing me to Flight of the Conchords. I've been watching their HBO show, which really isn't that good -- nowhere near the wet pants hysteria brought about from watching their videos on YouTube, -- but it's always the same line in "Business Time" that has me snorting:

When you're with me you only need two minutes 'cause I'm so intense.

Definitely needing the laughs today. Trying to get too much done in a short period of time, and ended up not following my routine last night. It clearly states: Lip stuff to endstand. (In the morning I put lip stuff in my pocket so I have moist lips all day long. Clever, right?) Today I washed those pants, along with many new shirts. I almost cried when I started pulling piece after spotty piece out of the dryer. No crying though. I threw everything back in the washer with hot water, hoped for the best, and took the kids down to the fair for some good food and fun(nel cake for dessert).

Buy hey, my horny toes awaits. Speaking of which, I was hoping I had a picture I could caption "Amber-ass," but there's only a couple that don't do the fun justice. The other night Amber came over for DDR and margaritas with horny toes (that Hornitos tequila), but there aren't any truly hideous shots of her. Of course, there were a couple of me.

Respecting Canada

When I noticed on my (unfinished) list of daily holidays that July 15 is "Respect Canada Day," I decided that it was one I would have to celebrate. After all, I've never had a bad experience when it comes to Canada. The few times I've visited, I've felt more at home than in the States. Everyone I encountered was so friendly. When mister mrtl and I drove up to Nova Scotia several years ago, we agreed we'd both love to live there, but jobs in his field were few and far between.

Having determined that July 15 would now be a holiday for me, I had to figure out how. For help I turned to a resident expert for guidance.

Kranki didn't know about this holiday, nor was she sure how one would go about celebrating it. She offered up some suggestions, though, including:

• I guess you could eat Canadian type foods.

[Follow up question] geez... Not trying to be completely dense here, but what are "Canadian type foods"? All I can think of are Molson and bacon.

[Follow up question's answer] Well, you’ve got most of them listed.  Also maple syrup and salmon.  Yep, that’s all I can think of. What a meal, huh?

• The other thing is that you could watch Canadian TV. Like "Kids in the Hall" or "SCTV". Canadian comedy is always good.
• I guess you could also be uber polite to everybody.
• Ummmmm, or refuse to pay for health care? Yes, that is it.
• Whatever you do don’t say, "Eh!" all day.
• (She didn't mention anything about not calling people "Canuck" or "Hozer," or saying, "Take off!" Being respectful, though, I'll assume that these are a given for no no's.)

After such discourse, and keeping in mind the spirit of the day, I asked Kranki if she would like to have the honor of blogging about the holiday. She declined, saying, "I think this needs a unique US perspective because we Canadians need to know what you all respect about our country.  It plagues our waking and sleeping moments. ;-)  And because I think you could write something very funny about it." With all due respect, Kranki, ARGGHGHHHH! This is a heap of responsibility for one who's fallen so far from blogging regularly and blogging anything remotely amusing at all. (You do notice that I posted my boobs recently? If that isn't a sign of desperation for material, what is??)

Whatever. It's a challenge that I accept. I decided to pay my respects by learning more about our neighbors, and in turn educating those who visit mrtland.

First stop, the national song. I've heard it plenty from watching hockey with the hubs, but what are the words? No clue.

Official Lyrics

(English)
O Canada! Our home and native land!
True patriot love in all thy sons command.
With glowing hearts we see thee rise,
The True North strong and free!
From far and wide, O Canada,
We stand on guard for thee.
God keep our land glorious and free!
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.

(French)
O Canada! Terre de nos aïeux,
Ton front est ceint de fleurons glorieux.
Car ton bras sait porter l'épée,
Il sait porter la croix.
Ton histoire est une épopée,
Des plus brillants exploits.
Et ta valeur, de foi trempée,
Protégera nos foyers et nos droits.
Protégera nos foyers et nos droits.

::tangent for rant in the most respectful way::
I checked many online references, including the Canadian government's website, to be sure before writing this tangent. WTF is up with the misspelling of sons??? It should be sons'! Am I misinterpreting this?? Please tell me I'm wrong!
::end tangent for rant in the most respectful way::

Some things you may not know about Canada
Thanks to http://emily.icomm.ca/facts.html for this information.

Some key differences between Canada and the States:

• Canada has a lower infant mortality rate and a longer life expectancy.
• Almost ten times as many people live in the States.
  • Population of Canada, 1998:  30,675,398
  • Population of the US, 1998: 270,311,756
• Canada has 9,976,100 square kilometers; the United States has 9,372,600.
• Canada spends more of its gross domestic product (GDP) on education and less on health care than the United States.
• What Americans expect because they're Americans: life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness
• What Canadians expect because they're Canadians: peace, order, and good government
• Canada has more donut shops per capita than the United States does.
• Canada's national animal is the beaver.
• Canada's two official sports are lacrosse and hockey.
• Canadians consume more Kraft Dinner (aka Kraft Macaroni & Cheese) per capita than any other nationality on Earth.

Reading the above list makes me want even more to live in Canada. It has everything! Long life, health care, donuts, and room to move! It's such a shame that the US has managed to piss off the rest of the world. I haven't been to Canada since our current clusterfuck started, and could only hope that I still feel that special kinship.

Either way, I figured this would be an appropriate celebration of this most auspicious occasion...

Yes, I wish he would just go away, too.

----

Update: Adding that the head-crusher is my creation. I may take requests for a future post.

Mastectomy Bill

Please take a few minutes to do this. Thanks. (Copied from a message board.)

see here

(written by a surgeon)

I'll never forget the look in my patients eyes when I had to tell them they had to go home with the drains, new exercises and no breast. I remember begging the Doctors to keep these women in the hospital longer, only to hear that they would, but their hands were tied by the insurance companies.

So there I sat with my patient giving them the instructions they needed to take care of themselves, knowing full well they didn't grasp half of what I was saying, because the glazed, hopeless, frightened look spoke louder than the quiet 'Thank you' they muttered.

A mastectomy is when a woman's breast is removed in order to remove cancerous breast cells/tissue. If you know anyone who has had a mastectomy, you may know that there is a lot of discomfort and pain afterwards. Insurance compani es are trying to make mastectomies an outpatient procedure. Let's give women the chance to recover properly in the hospital for 2 days after surgery.

Mastectomy Bill in Congress
It takes 2 seconds to do this and is very important .. please take the time and do it really quick!
Breast Cancer Hospitalization Bill - Important legislation for all women.

Please send this to everyone in your address book.
If there was ever a time when our voices and choices should be heard, this is one of those times. If you're receiving this, it's because I think you will take the 30 seconds to go to vote on this issue and send it on to others you know who will do the same.

There's a bill called the Breast Cancer Patient Protection Act which will require in surance companies to cover a minimum 48-hour hospital stay for patients undergoing a mastectomy. It's about eliminating the 'drive-through mastectomy' where women are forced to go home just a few hours after surgery, against the wishes of their doctor, still groggy from anesthesia and sometimes with drainage tubes still attached.

Lifetime Television has put this bill on their web page with a petition drive to show your support. Last year over half the House signed on.

PLEASE!! Sign the petition by clicking on the web site below. You need not give more than your name and zip code number.

Sign Petition

This takes about 2 seconds. PLEASE PASS THIS ON to your friends and family, and on behalf of all women, THANKS.

hmmmm...

Chinese fortune:

Soon, a visitor shall delight you.

Livin' the Loca Life

There are moments when I regret going Low Carb. Moments when I really want a sugary snack.

It just dawned on me the whole LOw CArb thing. WTF?

Hi Fly! Bye Bee!

My first week sans mister mrtl went with my ass pretty firmly affixed to the couch. Last week I was determined to be more productive, thinking that time may go by faster if I got moving. I turned to a book that had been collecting dust on my shelf since I bought it and first read it five years ago.

Since then I've been doing a lot of cleaning. (FlyLady calls it "Blessing," a term you  won't be hearing from me.) I'm in the process of developing routines, turning this home into a well-oiled machine. The kids are fully involved in the process and have been doing very well. (I'm considering learning how to sew to make Jem a full-body dust mop outfit.)

::tangent to acknowledge possible screw in the well-oiled machine::
Yes, there's danger ahead, called "A Long Trip to Lazyland." We're heading back to Maryland soon. I do plan to take the FlyLady with me and develop a routine or two there.
::end tangent to acknowledge possible screw in the well-oiled machine::

My favorite part of it all, beyond having a clean house (did I mention I fired the cleaners a couple months back? gah - long story, not worth the time to write it out), is that I get to write lists. LOTS of them. I have a little green notebook in which I keep all my lists. Lists are so much fun, but I digress.

Several months ago, if not longer, I had created a HUGE list of all the "little" things that needed to be done around the house. I try to put one of these things on my daily list of things to do.

One of the first was dealing with Mr. Bug.

When we moved into Buttercup back in May of 2005, we weren't the only inhabitant. I had said previously that the former owner had left the house immaculate ("I would have licked the floor in a heartbeat."). This was the exception:

Mr. Bug, as you can see here, is dead. I don't know how long he was up there before we moved in, but he was dead upon our arrival. I'm assuming this anyway, since he was too far away for me to poke with a stick.

He's in the window sill above our front door. It'd probably be a good place to put a potted plant; I noticed our neighbors, who have a similar cubby, have some kind of animal skin sitting on what looks like a saddle. To each, I suppose. Anyway, since we don't have a ladder tall enough to reach the sill, Mr. Bug has been there for quite some time.

Until two days ago, that is. At 7pm on 7/7/07, I devised the perfect implement to finally evict Mr. Bug. Behold!

It's a Sweepa taped to a painting extension pole with a Swiffer Sweeper thrown in for some added support. It had to be long -- at least 12 1/2 feet -- to reach from the bridge (our open upstairs hallway) to the sill.

And on the seventh day, there were no more bugs on the sill.

It was then that I discovered that Mr. Bug was really a bee, and that he was not alone.

And yes, that's the VCR remote in the Stride-to-Ride. Jem keeps it there, as well as a cup, and she likes to put shoes on the seat.

PSA and PDA

we miss you, mister mrtl!