Spank Me

The other morning I caved and went clothes shopping. I didn't spend very much, but got several items that will accentuate the more timeless pieces currently collecting dust in my closet. The totally outdated stuff no longer needs to go with me on the trip. Oh, and the shoes!

While I'm below the goal weight that I set for myself last year, there are some changes in my body that require me to reassess this goal. Namely the droopy pot belly. While trying on a skirt the other day, I made a mental note that some serious control-top pantyhose were going to be needed.

Then I thought of Tyra. Tyra Banks. She loves Spanx. Banks for Spanx. I don't watch her show that much, so maybe it's just my timing, but it seems like she's constantly talking about them. Today I headed to Nordy's to check them out for myself.

They totally rock. They come with an opening in the crotch "to make life easier when nature calls." Um... about what type of nature is this talking? Hoo!

I wanted to look at bras while there also, and decided to have one of the ladies working there measure me. I didn't blink when she led me to the dressing rooms, figuring it would be unseemly for her to announce my measurements on the floor. But then she asked me to remove my t-shirt, and I didn't know that undressing was a part of the Measurement Procedure. It was better this way, really; I probably wouldn't have made this request if I'd've known. Did I mention I was wearing my Lucky jeans? Yes, those jeans. While they don't fit the same as they did when I first got them (blame droopy pot belly for that), I can get them up, and I can button them. There's a little bit of a roll over the top; had I known of the Measurement Procedure, I could've put on my Spanx prior to getting fitted.

Once my shirt was off, taking off my bra to put on the fitting bra and the subsequent choices she brought in was nothing. I'm such an easy whore (hey, this is the most action I've had since mister mrtl left almost two weeks ago). Though I did draw the line when she made a move to help me lift each of the flopsy twins to position them in the cups. (Maybe I'm projecting that she was making a move, rather than just playing charades with me. How am I to know if someone isn't totally taken by the sight of my bare flopsies? Blame mister mrtl for my confidence here. It's a good thing.)

What's truly amazing is the end result of the fitting. How horrible a job I had done measuring myself! Who knew the flopsy twins could masquerade as perky??

Toes got done today, too. Next stop, fabulous hair and brows. Yes, it's a spree, and long overdue. If I had time, I'd try to get in a massage, too. Mmmmm... maybe I'll have to make the time.

Comments

[Mister Mrtl]

What, no pictures?

[sheryl]

Make the time for the massage!

[Amber]

OMG! I totally LOVE spanx! I just got my first pair 2 weeks ago. And who couldn't be excited about a crotch like that? My mother in law looked a little shocked when I raved about it. So I thought I was alone in the excitement! WAHOO!

[Von Krankipantzen]

I'm thinking I need to try this thing called Spanx too. We used to get it for all the actresses when I worked in film but I have never actually put a pair on.

I am sooo glad you are spoiling yourself. You totally deserve it.

[Andrea]

i've only had a bra fitting once, at victoria's secret, and did not have to bare the girls. and the bras i bought that day fit perfectly. yeek, i'll be skipping nordstrom's for that in the future!

and omigosh, the pot belly, me too. and i *haven't* lost said weight yet.

[RzDrms]

methinks mr. mrtl is flirting with you; it's quite endearing. and "bare flopsies" is my new words for my girls. LERV it!!!

[Mister Mrtl]

flopsie reminds me of a bunny, not a boob

[mrtl]

mister mrtl - At least one fellow officer in your squadron is aware of this website. Who knows who else? Do you really think I should post images of myself in my unders at your bequest?

sheryl - I shall try! (Boss told me the same thing when she learned I hadn't done it yet.)

Amber - What's up with the crotch, though? Do you wear underwear with them? I suppose to make full use of the trap door, the undies would have to be crotchless, too.

Kranki - Do! They're fun! (and a workout to get on - no wonder I looked so good in them!)

Andrea - I missed Natasha today when I put on the new bra. For YEARS I've been wearing a bra at least two sizes too big -- an easy stretch to hook myself up; now it's so high and tight in the back that it was hard to reach. As for the belly, now I understand some ladies' need for surgical intervention.

Rz - Hey! Big hugs! Part of me thinks there's something inherently wrong with "flopsy" being used on boobies that haven't been used for nursing. Yes, I thought mine were saggy before kids. (In retrospect, I'm sure I'd agree with you then.) Now? It's just scary. Anyhoo, I think I'll go with Flopsy Twins.

mm - My boobs can hold carrots. Not just one each, either. (If they can hold a soda, they can most certainly handle a full package of carrots.

[amy]

Happy for you. Happy about the perkiness and the toes and the shopping and the jeans.

I friggin hear you about the belly, too. It aint right, havin kids.