mrtl

Reprieve!

Remember how dismayed I was to miss National Pie Day? Well, according to the American Pie Council, National Pie Day is January 23, not December 1 (although I could totally celebrate both days).

In honor of this most happy of occasions, I share with you the recipe for my aunt's super yummy, absolutely decadent Cocoa Pie, which is so horrendously rich that the mere thought of eating the whole thing in one sitting is more nauseatingly gross than my overly excessive use of adverbs in this sentence.

Bonus! This pie can be made and frozen in advance. Just be sure to thaw the bitch completely before you try to cut it. My mother managed to slice her finger on the back of her knife trying to saw through one that hadn't.

Bonus!! Making this requires a mixer. Saying how the KitchenAid Mixer appears to be this year's Nikon D70, that should make many of you happy. (And Kalki had to ask if hers would make pie. pshaw!)

MAG's Cocoa Pie

graham cracker crust
1 1/2 cups sugar
1 stick butter, melted
3 1/2 tbs cocoa
1 tsp vanilla
2 eggs
5 oz can evaporated milk
1/2-1 cup pecans, chopped (optional but highly recommended)

Mix all ingredients except nuts together using a mixer. Pour into crust and top with nuts. Bake at 350° for 45 minutes. Cool completely and freeze overnight.

Serving Suggestions: Serve small pieces with ice cream or whipped cream. Lick fingers.

Happy New Year everyone!

Chitty Chitty Bang Bang

My mother has made it her quest to outfit our house with all the essential children's movies (and then some), no small feat. It wasn't until recently that Bug started showing the requisite attention span for watching a movie. Bug's tastes are also pretty fickle; many times we've started a movie only to have her decide five or ten minutes into it that she doesn't like it, such as what happened with Mary Poppins (damitol). There's always the issue of age appropriateness, as well. I was so excited to watch Ice Age with her, only to find that the opening images of Scrat chasing after his nut scared the bejesus out of her.

With Bug's current interest in toys of transportation...

::tangent to convey my shocked delight::
Bug has a daily rest time in her room. She may play quietly if she is not tired. If we see she really needs a nap and she's not making the move, we'll call lights out after some play time. Other than this quiet playtime, Bug does not willingly go to her room to play alone. She is a social animal and usually hangs out wherever we are. (I really can't wait till Jem is old enough for them to disappear to play together. I'm just saying.)

THANK YOU SANTA for giving Bug a GeoTrax train set for Christmas!! Suddenly the girl LOVES going to her room to play with her train, even before we got batteries in the remote. W.O.O.T.!
::end tangent to convey my shocked delight::

... I mentioned to her one day that we had a movie about an amazing car that could FLY! She got all excited to watch it, even after I sang some of the song to her. I only mentioned the movie because I had fond memories of it, and I really did want to watch it with her.

I don't remember the movie being so damned long. What the hell are producers thinking, making a movie for kids that is two and a half hours long?? But am I getting ahead of myself? Maybe 2 1/2 hours isn't that bad. Maybe if the movie didn't SUCK and have too much fucking twaddle in it it wouldn't have seemed to go. on. forever. Sure, there were good parts -- my personal favorite being when Truly and Cara Mr. Potts act like dolls, -- and who wouldn't snicker at the name "Truly Scrumptious," which is so stripper (and brings to mind Eric Idle's nudge-nudge-wink-wink candy photography sketch)? Besides, it's cute as anything to hear Bug's attempt at singing the song:

Shitty Shitty Bang Bang, Shitty Shitty Bang Bang, Shitty Shitty Bang Bang, we love you!

In, in Shitty Shitty Bang Bang, Shitty Shitty Bang Bang what we'll do!

Near, Far, Shitty Shitty Bang Bang, what a lovely time we'll spend!

Bang Bang, Shitty Shitty Bang Bang, our fine friend friendly friend!

Bang Bang, Shitty Shitty Bang Bang, our fine friend friendly friend!

Seriously, were there editors? I've looked at the movie's home page and can't find the information there.

Every day Bug has asked if we can watch the movie again, and I've griped enough that now she follows her query with, "Mommy? I don't know why they made Shitty Shitty Bang Bang so long! Why'd they do that?" with the same look of solemn disbelief she used during the grape grabbing incident of long ago.

I love this girl.

Itching to Write

We now interrupt mrtl's current drama for a fit of fancy brought to you by The Daily Meme.

Five on Friday

1. What events shaped your life in 2006?

Being pregnant, and then not being pregnant affected me the most this year, with joy and with agitation. Medication managed to dull me for the second half of the year.

2. How about you proudest/biggest achievement of the year?

Hands down: Jem.

3. Did you keep any of your new year's resolutions?

Ummmm... What were they again? Oh, yeah. No. The Year of Me was quite the dud.

4. What is your fondest memory of 2006?

Laughter.

5. What are you looking forward to most in the new year?

Does it have to be one thing? Hawaii. Mister mrtl going to a day job. Spring (teaching Bug how to ride a bike and introducing Jem to chalk). Stanley. Working more on myself.

You know it's time to get the tweezers...

... when you find your necklace hung up on that stupid neck hair.

Merry Christmas to All

From mrtl, mr mrtl, Bug and Jem.

Rz is sleeping with Willie. I know it!

After gaining back a few pounds -- which really should be no surprise since I'm severely lacking in follow-through, -- I'm attempting to get back on the wagon.

::tangent for my definition of "attempt"::

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Sorry. I digress.

noun - a momentary consideration to disengage when reaching for another piece of fudge / ice cream / breaded and fried lard; a passing fancy

::end tangent for my definition of "attempt"::

If only I could stop procrastinating, justifying daily why I'm not going to the gym today, or why I'm eating shit today...

Mister mrtl and I are going to Hawaii in February. Some major magic will need to happen between now and then for me to get not only in those damned Lucky jeans, but in a bathing suit as well. It will have to be magic, since I can't seem to adjust myself. Where's my will power? Willie? Are you there? Where's Willie?

But why blame myself when I can redirect the focus to others? Like when mister mrtl presents a honking-sized Cadbury Fruit and Nut bar at the store, as if I need that. And what do I get in the mail today? Not one, but TWO packages of Reese's cups, one of the miniatures and one of the "fun" size. Merry Christmas from Rz. In a further act of premeditated torture, she required that I sign for the delivery, ensuring that I received the evil.

I'm torn. Note this is categorized in both "Problems with Civilization" and "Snippy Snaps." I love me some Reese's cups, which is exactly why I'm not opening them. To open them, to try to pretend that I can use any sort of moderation and not choke them down over a day (or maybe two), would just prove me a ::PROFANITY ALERT!! Deadwood reference follows:: loopy cunt ::end PROFANITY ALERT!!::.

The Caffeinated Brain

Has it been that long since I had a latte? Maybe it's affecting me this way because I drank it on an empty stomach. mister mrtl says if he didn't know me, he'd think I was high.

I just called my office about a technical problem. Ending my call with the office manager, I inadvertently said, "Love ya!" I hung up before she could respond.

I'm the designated driver for the partay tonight (joint office Christmas party and mister mrtl's promotion party -- Bug's calling him Captain Daddy -- hee). Maybe I should scratch caffeine from my drink list, too.

An Email Turned Post

Killing two birds here. What?

In response to a check-in from Sheryl:

Jem started daycare this month, and I was foolish to happily anticipate reconnecting... but then mister mrtl went to Hawaii for two weeks, and then it snowed, and then we all got sick, and then there were appointments, and then my laptop died, and then my cable modem went out for a weekend... I'm up now because I can't sleep because I'm stressing to figure out how to acknowledge the neighbors who helped me dig out the van that I grounded on a snowbank the other night while trying to get up the driveway, and how to do whatever that is in a timely manner despite the extra snow we got hit with yesterday and not really wanting to drive anywhere out of the way, what with the grounding incident, and the presents that need to be wrapped and the party we're going to tonight and how I'd really like to get my eyebrows waxed but when is that going to happen?

In case you were wondering. I'm still here. How are you?

Pondering Pie and Paltry Planning

You know what's wrong with holidays? They're too rigid and scheduled. They are completely inconsiderate of everything else that's going on and fail to realize how inconveniencing they are. Or they totally sneak up on me, catching me completely unaware and unprepared.

Christmas? Fucker has to be in December, when it's too cold and snowy and dark to make it easy and appealing to get out and do the requisite shopping involved. Why can't Christmas be in the fall? There's no better time of year to shop than in the fall. Don't give me any crap about it being the day of Christ's birth, so it would be sacrilege to move it, either. We do it all the time with other holidays. Martin Luther King's birthday is always celebrated on a Monday, isn't it? Thanksgiving is always on a Thursday. Easter is absolutely WTF confounding, sometimes falling in March and other years in April. Why can't we acknowledge Christ's birthday but celebrate it at a more feasible -- and even optional -- time?

But I digress. I opened Typepad tonight because I just realized that December 1 was National Pie Day and I missed it. As if that's going to stop me from celebrating. Maybe I'll extend the celebration over a few days just for good measure.