The Wisdom of Preschoolers

Bug's team was playing in the gym with a team from another room when I arrived to pick her up today. She wasn't quite ready to leave, so I sat down and proceeded to swat away the kids that buzzed around Jem in her carseat.

This one kid from the other class came over, insulting Jem. Little shit. He first asked, "Is that a boy or a girl?" Upon hearing my response, he followed with, "She's got funny hair. It's combed. Does she get her hair cut?" Consider yourself slapped, little shit, and you're one to talk with your crappy My Daddy is Military and I Gots Me a Matching Buzz Cut.

I dismissed him and resumed my happier, non-offensive conversation with D, one of Bug's friends. But the little shit wouldn't go away. Instead he impressed upon me his intelligence. Included in his diatribe were the following pearls:

• When you grow up and get married you can have a baby in your belly.
• When I grow up and marry a princess I can have a baby in my belly.

... Silly me, I thought I'd be kind and correct this ill-conceived (ha - an unexpected pun) notion, remarking that maybe his princess wife could have a baby in her belly, but not him, that only girls can have babies in their bellies and not boys...

• My mommy told me that when I'm 15 I can have a baby in my belly.
• My mommy told me that when I'm 16 I can have a baby.

... Yeah, silly me. If that's the tree he fell from...

Comments

[William]

Funny. Kinda reminds me of your neighbor.

[candace]

Maybe he's going to be transgendered when he's 15?

[kalki]

This illustrates why I believe people should take a test before being allowed to get pregnant.

[eclectic]

Oh dear. Bug's not allowed to date that one, okay?

[Daphne]

oookay. That is one kid who's giving his daddy with matching haircut palpitations. Funny and frightening at once. I especially like learning that marrying a princess is one of his goals.

[Von Krankipantzen]

What a little turd.