The Year Starts Over Now

My resolutions for this year have taken a back seat with the whole pregnancy/birth/baby business. While I have managed to squeeze a shower in on most days, the working out was dropped quickly with bed rest and postpartum doctor's orders, and the weekly fun... well, I've had to redefine what constitutes that.

Today I had my first postpartum checkup, during which I was cleared to resume my life. That means I am back in business and ready to set a serious goal for myself.

My goal is simple: I want this back and then some. Mister mrtl has big plans to whisk me off to Hawaii next February, and I'd love to feel comfortable in a bathing suit, so that's the deadline.

I'm trying not to get all overwhelmed with the numbers involved. For that reason, I'm going to throw out the numbers, all of them. Regularly for some of them. I'm thinking the threat of humiliating myself by publicly failing is worse than the numbers. So take that, stupid numbers. I'm not scared of you!

	4/4/06
Lucky Day weight	130
Jem Prepregnancy Weight	135*
Weight Before Birth	178
Current Weight	151.5
Current Body Mass Index	29.6
Neck	13.5"
Chest	43.5"
Upper Arm	11"
Waist	37.25"
Hips	39"
Thigh	22.5"
Weight Lost to Date (since 4/4/06)	0
$ Lost to Date	0
* I was still 130 right before I flew back to Maryland at the beginning of May, but I'm sure I gained at least five pounds while staying with my parents and their Reese's Cups and eating out so much. By the way, I am 5'.

I'm also trying to do this wisely. I want to remember to ask myself how much I really want each thing I try to eat, but not deprive myself into stupidity. I want to maintain the incentive to be active, doing some physical activity each day. I want to take full advantage of the weight loss help I get from breastfeeding. I want to not screw up, thinking that since I'm working out it's ok to eat shit regularly.

It's been hard for me in the past to stick to such goals. Putting my money where my mouth is has helped a little in the past. Granted, saying the money would go to my daughter wasn't the best idea. Granted, saying the money will go to mister mrtl isn't the best idea either since it can be so easily justified (hello van and bedroom set for Jem). Still, to him it will go to help offset the cost of the treadmill he's planning on buying that I'll really need to use. I can't afford to chip in at the moment -- such purchases we usually go joint on, -- but I can certainly budget a dollar a day to go to him if I don't follow through on my exercise goals. The dollar amount will be yet another number I'll be throwing out.

I'll be evaluating my progress regularly, assessing the plan and tweaking it as needed. I hate to say on the front end that I'm doubtful that this is going to work for the long term, but I know myself. I know how I am about the gedunk. Hell, today? Knowing it's technically my last day to eat shit? I had a Boston Cream donut (first one I've seen in Alaska, which justified it further), a piece of French Silk pie (part of a piece, that is, since I shared it with Bug), and a chocolate chunk cookie. My sweet tooth holds a lot of power over me, and I know it will be a battle of wills to take that power away. I must tap into my inner Hot Girl to help with this. The gedunk is burying her. (And don't even start with comments about how Hot Girl is not buried under the fat; as flattering as it is to hear, it won't help with my goal. While I do love myself, I'm not happy with my current health and know that I will enjoy my life, my marriage and my children so much more if I become more active.)

Update: I prepared this post last night. Today I stopped at the store and picked up some cheap jelly bracelets as a reminder of my goal. Better yet, I shall treat it like Dumbo's magic feather; it gives me power over my sweet tooth. Take that, sweet tooth! You don't control me!

Comments

[little sister]

are you sure you're a libra? this whole list/measurment/planning/evaluation thing is awfully retentive...more like a virgo or a capricorn - yikes! My fear of retentives notwithstanding, I admire you for thinking it all out and writing it all down and putting it all out in front of everyone in the blogosphere.

I'll cheer you on as I check the stats.

Wow. What a woman you are!

[mrtl]

lil sis - i am anal, but that's not why i posted the numbers. i did it to take away their power.

[Ern]

I'm loving the jelly bracelets idea!

[Andrea]

You go girl.

I joined Curves a month ago (yes, Kalki! I really did! I am an old fat lady! ;) ). Only lost a pound and a half so far, but I'm going religiously 3 days a week, and not watching what I eat much. Food is so hard for me. I just enjoy it too much. Especially if it's delicious. And sweet. and CHOCOLATE...oh. wait. I'm probably not helping YOU very much, am I? :)

Anyway, doing the Curves thing has been easier than I thought, and since I deliberately prepaid a year in advance, I have serious motivation to keep going!

[RzDrms]

let me just put it out there right now: you had a tiny little heiny last march, grrrl! i had a cute little one too back then, but thirty pounds later (and no newborn to show for it!), my tiny booty is gone. i'm a capricorn and i shall write all my numbers down tonight (for my eyes only though). you're braver than me, chic! ::luck!::

[janasayqua]

I am very excited for you and am sure you can make it. 151 is not too far away from 130. Really it isn't.

I've done Body for Life a few times and although it is TOUGH, you get great results, AND a free day to boot, to eat anything you want. That is one suggestion in there for you, I have a sweet tooth as well and what helped me was whenever I had a craving, I put said food on a list and saved it for my 'free' day. Worked well for me.

At any rate good luck, I can't help but to be a little jealous as I'm on the opposite end of the stick and being prepared to GAIN weight. Ugh.

Lastly, you are 5 foot? No you aren't. NO way. You look at least 5'7.

[janasayqua]

oh, and I am a Libra and making lists is totally a trait of ours.

[Daphne]

I like what Janasayqua said about the list. Little tricks are the key to getting through the craving. Right now I have a rule not to eat anything that I didn't buy and bring with me to the office to eat. Now that won't work well at home and, um, I kind of ate a hamburger with fries and beer then bought candy on my walk home last night. But I felt so much better by then and I hadn't eaten junk all day, somehow more important.

[kalki]

Andrea, we should totally workout together! I'm still a Curves girl, too. :)

mrtl, you are going to kick some serious ass with this. I can feel it. Woot!

[Adrienne]

God, I'm 22 and my butt has never looked as good as it did in those pants. I did get into 6's once a few years ago, wwhen I was depressed and not eating though. And the fact that your post-preg weight matches my weight now? I could only hope for that for myself!! Good luck with your work outs though, I'll be thinking of you as I jog my own ass off.

[Von Krankipantzen]

I am doing the dieting thing too right now. I think the numbers idea is a good one. I have never measured myself. I don't even own a scale. I go by how I fit into clothes. I gotta go find a tape measure. I think you'll really kick ass this time as Hawaii is a BIG incentive.

[amy]

You WILL get that bootyliciousness back, Mrtl. I just know it.

[Bente]

Good luck, mrtl! I plan to tackle the same goal once the baby is born so I'll be looking to you for some inspiration. (That is not meant as pressure ;)

[LadyBug]

You are one brave girl, throwing those numbers out there!

Best of luck to you in your Hot Girl Quest, mrtl. HUGS!

[Closet Metro]

On behalf of all men I want to thank you for your quest to once again posess a bootay that makes men stand at attention and say "Mmmmm. If only she weren't wearing a wedding ring."

[wordgirl]

Sweet tooth! You are SO not the boss of mrtl! Hey...there's supposed to be a vitamin (chromium picolinate?) that curbs urges for sweets. Check it out...it might help. Good luck!

[eclectic]

Go Mrtl, Go!! You can do anything you truly set your formidable mind to do. This is no exception. Fitness is more a mindset than a set of behaviors, and once you view yourself as "fitness-oriented" it absolutely changes the way you look at food, activity, hydration and everything. Often people ask me for one recommendation as they're just starting out, and I frequently tell them to view food the way you do money. Put yourself on a 'budget' and give yourself a credit card. If on any given day or circumstance you 'must have' a certain food, that's fine. You can put it on your 'card', but the 'bill' comes in the form of additional cardio (extra from your normal amount) which has to be paid. If you don't pay your 'bill' on time, you are assessed the late payment fee, more unwanted fat. It helps to know that you truly can have anything you want, just like when you go shopping, you just have to pay for it later. Then you find yourself evaluating whether it's "too expensive" or "worth it!" Wow, did I just totally comandeer your blog? Sorry.

[Annejelynn]

mmmm french silk pie (drooling)

[mrtl]

Ern - I used it tonight when the mister asked if I'd like some ice cream. "By the power invested in my pink jelly bracelet..."

Andrea - Rock on! (Or should I say "Hymn on!" from what Kalki has said about the music there?)

Rz - I think having pregnancy as an excuse helps me get the nerve.

Jana - I am making a list of things the bracelet has given me power over. I think it's going to be too big to give myself temporary freedom. Got too many non-fat alternatives for treats, so I'm going to take that route (for the most part).

It helps to realize that I've done this before. Twice. My heaviest ever (153) didn't involve pregnancy, but a two-Big Mac-a-day habit in college.

Daphne - That sounds like how I handled Slim Fasting years ago. I supplemented way too much.

Kalki - I will definitely reserve some calories for Thanksgiving time. We're heading back that way, and if you're free, we must do pastries. PEBBLES UNITE!

Adrienne - That size 6 was a total marketing ploy. As for you... Hell, woman, you may be doomed. You're a very happy girl. ;) (Just kidding.)

Kranki - I'm trying not to let the numbers get to me, which is why I'm treating them as not having an impact on me. You'll see my goal is to get into those jeans. Screw the numbers.

Amy - Thank you, dear!

Bente - No pressure. ;)

LadyBug - They're just numbers.

Metro - That's right. I am on a quest for the butt.

wordgirl - Thanks - I'll research.

eclectic - Love the analogy!

Annejelynn - As well you should.

[~Kabe]

Go, Mrtl, GO!

I got hydrated today, probably met the 10K step thing, but didn't do so well nutrition-wise. BUT -- baby steps!!

Thanks for posting all this! You've got a beautiful new daughter to show for that weight.

[Susie]

Ooh, I'm glad I read comments! I'll see you at Thanksgiving?!

You go, girl. I actually saw you at your fighting form. You were, indeed, spectacular (and, just for the record, you are today, too). You have lots of cheerleaders here, PLUS a personal trainer! You will absolutely DO THIS!

[debutaunt]

Kick ass girl. It's true about the numbers and taking away their power.

I did bodyforlife before I got sick. It feels so good to get strong.

You're sassy. I'm sure you can do this :)

[william]

Number have powers? Really? Like super powers?

Good luck to you. I am rooting for you. Are the Jelly Bracelets edible?

[ieatcrayonz]

Whoo hoo! You can do it. Can I borrow your ass for my reunion? In other news, I've lost 3.5 lbs since ending my blog!

Amazing coincidence? I think not.

[sheryl]

Go mrtl! You can do it! You will do it!
I'll cheer you on.

When I am not working out regularly, I have the metabolism of an, umm... animal that gets chubby easily. But when I work out, my metabolism is pretty powerful, and I have a LOT more energy overall. And a much better attitude.

If you're interested in kicking your sweet tooth for a while or potentially for good, think about the South Beach Diet. It's a nutritious and balanced diet. Tasty food is allowed. Just not the most unhealthy forms of sugars and fats.

I'm imagining you using the bracelets like Wonder Woman uses her wrist cuffs. Deflection!

[Adrienne]

Oh, I didn't see your height though... I'm 10 inches taller than you, another reason 6's don't quite fit on my mammoth ass.

[mrtl]

~Kabe - Baby steps are steps in the right direction, and cheating isn't failure but a minor setback (one of my weaknesses is giving up when I've suffered a setback instead of regrouping).

Susie - Believe me, I would have made sure you knew!

Deb - It's so great to see you out and about! Wooo!!!! And yes, if you can kick cancer's ass, I can most certainly do this.

william - Some people are intimidated by numbers. They hide from numbers. I used to be one of them, and it enabled me to avoid my health goals. I've taken their power away so they don't enable me anymore.

Lucky me, the bracelet is not edible nor nummy.

yonzie - YOU GO! It doesn't surprise me. Blogging requires a lot of ass sitting.

Sheryl - I would, but would rather not get all bogged down in rules. I need to keep this simple. I'm going to focus on eating on the fringes (of the grocery store, that is). Lots of fruits and veggies, not a whole lot of processed stuff. When I must have chocolate or some such, I'll go with sugar-free. If that doesn't work for me and I need to kick it up a notch, that's when I'll look to adding more rules. Thanks!

Adrienne - Meaning also the weight is more evenly distributed on you, too. My short squatness means I am more round around. Gah!

[sheryl]

You'd probably do well on the Hacker's Diet - which is just a way of balancing calories in and out to either lose weight or maintain weight.

No rules.

[sheryl]

oops, I meant to include a link:
http://www.fourmilab.ch/hackdiet/

[kalki]

THANKSGIVING!! Awesome. I'll be there, woman. Pass the pastries.

[Torrie]

You are so brave.

I'm cheering for you!

43 inch chest? Hubba hubba!

[mrtl]

sheryl - Sounds more my style, and I love the name! hee

kalki - Woo!

Torrie - I'm big boned. Not in my boobs (mister mrtl is such a smartass, and he's reading over my shoulder).

[Hänni]

It sounds like you a truly a woman on a mission. I've been trying to get back into the excercise habit myself, as I find i'm happier and better able to handle stress once I've had my morning run. And yeah, I've got that killer sweet tooth too, but I find it goes away once I'm really committed to being fit.

Jelly bracelets is an awesome idea. Mind if I copy you?

[mrtl]

Copy away, Hänni. I got them at WalMart (kept by the watches on a thing with stuff for kids).

[The Kept Woman]

I think you should lose like 5 pounds just for being so organized about it all.

Of course I'm the same person that thinks when you really want a chocolate donut and that chocolate donut is in front of you and you don't eat it...that should also count for losing 5 lbs.

It's all about the sacrifice in my mind.

My scale doesn't buy into this theory.

[Nina]

WOW, you are 5'???? I some~how thought you were taller . . . why I don't know. You can and it is true do whatever you want to do.
You got it right numbers have no powers . . . and are only numbers.

[mrtl]

TKW - Sounds good to me! (So does the chocolate donut)

Nina - Yep, I'm a shortie. Things only have power if we give it to them. That's why my pink jelly bracelet is magical. :)

[kerri]

"Delurking," as we like to say, to say: I'm with Ern, the jelly bracelets are a great idear! And I hope you don't think I'm weird or creepy for telling you that you have a hot ass. Because, well, you do! :) (Oh, and hi!)

[mrtl]

Kerri - You're sweet! The hot ass is in there somewhere. It surely will make an appearance here again once it's back. hee