Children, Drugs and Alcohol

Once upon a time, back in May when we first arrived in Alaska, I checked out the two local daycares, putting my name on both of their waiting lists. Fast forward to January 4. Bug has been to the base CDC, to one of the local daycares, and back to the CDC. At 8:39 tonight the phone rang. It was the other local daycare. Over 7 months later they have an opening for Bug. Do we still need it?

What.the.fuck?

And just because I'm in a little bit of a reminiscent mood (being put there by scrolling from the above link, looking for another daycare reference which may not exist afterall), I need to thank the following bloggers for reading this post and -- despite how completely CRAZY I sound in the post -- still being sweet and supportive of my decision to quit taking my happy pills: Shit... I've already done that. I'm going to pat myself on the back for acknowledging them instead. ::pat, pat::

And just because that initial post reminded me of recent thoughts of alcohol, let me share something else that's come to light:

Duck Fart

The Duck Fart is a drink -- Kahlua, Bailey's and a wee bit of Crown Royal layered -- of which I recently learned on a rare day of actually reading the newspaper (what are the odds? I'll thank Karma for that.). It originated at a bar in Anchorage called The Peanut Farm (which is incidentally right around the corner from the chocolate fountain and hot buttered rum bread pudding).

It has been decided that my first post-Frida drink will be a Duck Fart. I shall have to have a driver, of course, who will attend to me at The Peanut Farm and then escort me to the Sourdough Mining Company and the Alaska Wild Berry Products store for other treats; it would be stupid to go all that way and not visit the other two locations. It shall be a night couple hours of sheer bliss.

I would like to cordially extend an invitation to all my bluddies to join me on this night in enjoying a Duck Fart. I will be sure to post well in advance when the happy occasion will be, and you can visit your local watering hole with instructions in hand.

----

Well, fuck me gently with a chainsaw. I just realized that I spent so much time playing, writing this and making a new masthead, that I didn't get any work done and I haven't taken a shower today. ACK!

Comments

[The Anti-Stalker]

If you promise to take a shower, perhaps we can go there during one of your parents' quarterly trips up to see us...

[mrtl]

T A-S - PROMISE! I'll be down in a few minutes - doing the upload now.

[Susie]

You're adorable. I like the ingredients, but I don't like the idea of drinking a fart.

[william]

IS the Duck Fart a shot? How is it served? On the rocks? straight? Nevermind I read the article. It comes in s shot glass. Cool.

[cat]

"fuck me gently with a chainsaw"?!

[jana]

Cat--quote from "Heathers". Great 80s movie.

Secondly...where is the countdown until you obtain a...uh...'duck fart'??

Lastly: I worked at a gym for 3 years. They were totally betting. For you.

[LadyBug]

I'm not sure I'll ever be able to look at a rubber duckie the same again.

[mrtl]

Susie - Would it make you feel better if you went with a "Ducque Pharte"?
william - It's highly likely that, should I enjoy my duck fart enough, I'll keep the ingredients at home. After all, all three are favorites of mine (although I usually get Canadian Club for my ginger ale, toast-to-Grandma highballs because of the price of Crown Royal, which was her favorite). Maybe a little milk would make for a tasty drink. I'll let you know.
cat - Of all the 80's references that you wouldn't get. I'm shocked. And a little abhored.
jana - I'm due February 19, but the clinic has given me a lovely little window: three weeks on either side of that. My bet is that Frida will arrive earlier, in the week before. (That may be wishful thinking, but I'd bet on it anyway.)

As for the gym, it helps my motivation to believe that I'm doubted. You're a lot nicer than those desk fuckers.
LadyBug - Does that mean you're in?

[Sharkey]

Love the new masthead. Though the NO MORE EXCUSES served its purpose (or maybe it didn't), this one's much more entertaining.

[jana]

Ducque Pharte....I LOVE THAT.

Here's another one too...

"Bulimia is so '87 Heather."

I love that movie.

[mrtl]

Sharkey - I found the last one annoying (because it wasn't useful). This one is much better. :)
jana - Ducque Pharte isn't mine; it was in that article.

Heathers was the best. I still can't believe that cat hasn't seen it.

[wordgirl]

My sister and I got into a heated argument after watching Heathers together. Havne't watched it since.

[jana]

Alright so after taking the time to READ the article, I am in.

I will definitely indulge in a delicious Duck Fart dear.

[Nina]

Please keep us posted to a date and time, and I am willing, I'll join ya in a duck fart. :)

[mrtl]

wordgirl - Over the movie?
jana - Doesn't it sound yummy?! My first drink after Bug was Bailey's (with milk, but still), and I love love love Kahlua. You can't go wrong.
Nina - Yes, mah lady! The date will be clearly posted. The time would be too hard to nail down with the majority of my bluddies being out of Alaska's time zone...

... or are you planning on coming up for the happy occasion?

[Daphne]

Huh, I'm going to have to purchase more liquers for the cabinet and soon... I'm excited that your due date's approaching! Also note that I started this comment earlier but had to ditch it because the effects of procrastination were making me totally ridiculous, comment-wise. I think looking back at that old post and thinking about thinking about (duplication intentional) taking attention-enhancing drugs freaked me right into working. Oh but don't look now because here I am again, surfing around and not doing my job description update. Because JD updates SUCK.

[mrtl]

Daphne - I'm in the same boat. I've sat here for nearly 7 hours but could only say I've worked 5.

But now? Five hours are done. It's time to take a shower and ready myself for Bunco!

[Amy]

LOVE Heathers. Totally got the chainsaw line ROTB.
And utterly and absolutely I shall join you in the flouffe de canard. Name the date and time.

[Von Krankipantzen]

Flatulating fowl=cute. Pukey hangover=nasty.

[mrtl]

Amy - "flouffe" - That is hysterical! I played Bunco with a French-speaking Canadian and didn't think to ask her.
Kranki - Another woman there tonight said she's had a duck fart and it was really tasty. I would think one wouldn't make you have a pukey hangover.

[The Anti-Stalker]

I never get any of your stupid 80s humor/music allusions. Nor the Monty Python crap. Somehow I still love you ;-)

[mrtl]

T A-S - And I you, dear. Despite your devotion to Rush and other weird hair bands.

[The Anti-Stalker]

You exhibit your ignorance! I don't listen to "hair" bands, by and large. Hair bands were groups like Guns n Roses, Bon Jovi, Warrant, Poison, later-era Motley Crue (to some degree) and all of their imitators (LA Guns, Firehouse, etc. etc. Just turn on "Metal Mania" on VH1C for more examples. You know, where the singer was prettier than the groupies? Check in iTunes on my computer and among the 1000+ cds there, you won't find even one of the aforementioned bands listed. The closest you could get might be the *ONE* White Lion cd I own ;-) Also, Rush were never a hair band. And I'm not that big a fan of Rush. More of a fan of the people they influenced, if that makes any sense. So there!

[mrtl]

T A-S - I don't care enough about your music to invest in learning so much about it, thus my ignorance. (And don't you or anyone else even start with how this is a bad thing since I'm supposed to love you. I accept the fact that you won't watch Monty Python with me and that you'd sooner leave the room than suffer through my 80s music.)

Hair bands to me represent the look (pants that are too damned tight and typically long, poofy hair), the movement (prancing on stage, banging heads in unison), the sound (the high-pitched caterwauling with heavy guitar), and geeks in the audience making stupid hand gestures, holding lighters, (reading liner notes to sing along with the goofy lyrics - hee), playing air guitar and wearing jean jackets.

I apologize if my generalization doesn't completely represent your music. You know there are plenty bands in your collection that I really like. Then there's Rush, King Diamond, and Celtic Frost. ugh. "Mexican Radio" just started up in my head, and I wanted to go to sleep, damnit.

[The Anti-Stalker]

Haha, don't be singing "Dog Years" in your sleep, lol.