There comes a moment while lying in bed when one realizes that it's pointless to remain. Sleep is not going to come. With one ear straining, anticipating the cries that are sure to come when the little one's temperature goes back up, wrenching cries that would jar you from your sleep in a panic to run upstairs to comfort her, the body is simply too tense. Instead, you readjust your body, from one side to the next and back again, rearranging the pillows, taking off the covers because you're too hot, then putting them back on because you're too cold. Vain attempts to lull the body into relaxation. Also working against the efforts are the too-long nap you took that afternoon (making up from several responses to the crying child the night before), a snuggling cat that will.not.move to accommodate your comfort, and a wriggling Alien-esque creature pounding you from within. Better to go and get some thoughts out rather than stay and wake He Who Must Work Early.
Can't win either way. Half an hour after leaving to distract yourself with the computer and stupid late-night television, in he walks, worried that something's wrong with you. He tries to be reassuring, that the little one is ok and is not going to awaken. It's no use. He's sent back to bed alone.
Five minutes later, you hear the little one talking over the monitor. Is she asleep? Maybe so, since the talking stops as quickly as it started. Still, it puts the body back on high alert.
It's going to be a long night.
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Update: At 2:30 I naively tried to get some sleep, but that damned reflux interfered. Shouldn't have eaten that cookie when I got up. Back up at 4; might as well get some work done. Now it's 5:30. Bug never did wake up. One of the benefits of her illness is that she's been taking longer naps than usual. I'll try again then.
Poor mrtl and Bug. I hope she feels better very soon and you get some decent sleep.
Posted by: Bente | 2005.12.26 at 07:46 AM
Oh, mrtl. I hope you get some rest soon. You and Frida need it. I know you know that, and are doing the very best you can. I hope Bug feels terrific very soon. But not so terrific that she won't take a nice, long, uninterrupted nap, that you and Frida can join in. Hugs, sweetie. I wish I could help.
Posted by: Susie | 2005.12.26 at 08:59 AM
Bente - Me too!! Thanks!
Susie - I'm thinking I should take advantage of her sleep and get a shower in now... the thought of lying down makes my throat burn. Gah!
Posted by: mrtl | 2005.12.26 at 09:29 AM
Eeek. Nothing worse than a sick little one, except when you're sick along with the little one.
Hope she feels better soon, and that you can get some sleep soon!
Posted by: suburban misfit | 2005.12.26 at 11:48 AM
Wishing you some reflux-free sleep soon! I also hope Bug bgets to feeling better.
Posted by: Momo | 2005.12.26 at 12:42 PM
Oh Hon, those nights can last forever. Hope you manage to get a decent nap in today. And hope hope the little bug is better soon! Merry Boxing day eh?
Posted by: Amy | 2005.12.26 at 12:59 PM
Gaaaah! Sending sandman thoughts to you AND to Bug.
Posted by: eclectic | 2005.12.26 at 01:29 PM
misfit - So far I haven't picked it up. Must be the vitamins!
Momo - I did get a nap this morning, while Bug overdosed on her favorite shows. She's napping now, so I think I'll get a shower in, too. Whoopee!
Amy - Every year I have to look up what Boxing Day is all about. The silly me immediately thinks it's the day to box up all the Christmas shite.
eclectic - Thanks! It worked!
Posted by: mrtl | 2005.12.26 at 04:19 PM
Get better little Bug! That's no fun for you or momma.
Sheesh, all you should have to be worrying about is snowdrifts. Bah!
Posted by: ieatcrayonz | 2005.12.26 at 05:07 PM
yonzie - No fun for sure! We're going to the doctor tomorrow.
Posted by: mrtl | 2005.12.26 at 08:03 PM
Poor girls! I hope you sleep better tonight.
Posted by: Ern | 2005.12.26 at 08:56 PM
The worst thing about being pregnant with a little one is the increased difficulty of taking care of oneself!
When she's feeling better, can you park her in front of the TV while you nap in the same room? Not a trick I recommend frequently, of course, but I did this on occasion when I was pregnant with Aislinn. Desperate times call for desperate measures! :)
Posted by: Andrea | 2005.12.26 at 10:38 PM
Ah, I hope you can get some rest soon. Although awhile back I realized that I don't think I've completely slept through the night in 15 years. I still almost automatically wake up very shortly before Brandon will wander into our room sometimes. I think it's some ingrained mother/child thing.
And the reflux sucks.
Posted by: Lori | 2005.12.26 at 11:11 PM
Oooh, I hate those nights. You poor thing. I hope you get some rest tonight, dear.
Love and hugs to you.
Confidential to Frida: Just STOP. THAT. torturous wiggling already - just for a little while, so Mommy can get some rest, mmmkay?
Posted by: LadyBug | 2005.12.26 at 11:17 PM
Sounds like you need some more ass-effects. Hope Bug is better and you're sleeping soon!
Posted by: Sharkey | 2005.12.26 at 11:24 PM
argh! I don't know how mommies and mommies to be do that mothering type stuff...it's bad enough you have a sick little one, but you have Frida who has hijacked your comfort....sending many restful thoughts your way, and good health vibes to Bug!
Merry Christmas!
Posted by: Chick | 2005.12.26 at 11:44 PM
Ern - Tonight may be calling for some Nyquil... just for the hell of it.
Andrea - I have definitely using that trick. She's more than happy with that arrangement.
Lori - Now that doesn't help at all. I need hope, woman! Give me hope!
LadyBug - I am determined to go to sleep at a decent time tonight.
Sharkey - That's a definite! Thanks!
Chick - NO fever at bedtime tonight, a definite plus. Still, we'll be going to the doctor tomorrow, just to be sure all is ok.
Posted by: mrtl | 2005.12.26 at 11:56 PM
Oh I'm so sorry to hear about baby Bug and mommy not being able to rest. Hope things get back to normal soon.
Posted by: Hänni | 2005.12.27 at 08:35 AM
Just wanted to say hi!!
Posted by: danielle | 2005.12.27 at 10:01 AM
Hänni - Last night was MUCH better, thanks!
Danielle - Hey woman!!
Posted by: mrtl | 2005.12.27 at 10:21 AM
Poor Mrtl. Hope Bug gets better soon. Not being able to sleep totally sucks. I am a chronic insomniac for weeks at a time sometimes, and it's just mentally and physically painful. Be better soon!
Posted by: Dima | 2005.12.27 at 12:48 PM
Dima - Thanks! Last night I slept wonderfully, and so did Bug. :)!
Posted by: mrtl | 2005.12.27 at 01:11 PM
*hug* I went through that 3 times. I don't miss it.
Posted by: Kristine | 2005.12.27 at 01:51 PM
Hi Mrtl.
Posted by: william | 2005.12.27 at 02:09 PM
EW! Reflux and exhaustion. A nasty combo. I hope you eliminate at least one if not both and feel better soon.
Air kiss to Bug. I am trying to stay healthy here! ;-)
Posted by: Von Krankipantzen | 2005.12.27 at 02:41 PM
Kristine - I do like the cuddles she has, but that's about it.
william - Hey!
Kranki - Thanks, sweetie! Yes - keep your distance dear. You don't want what the Bug has.
Posted by: mrtl | 2005.12.27 at 10:00 PM