mrtl

Taking Back the White

Dear mister mrtl,

Effective immediately, I will be doing the white laundry as well as Bug's. Why? I can not express in words how incredibly giddy it made me to smell the loads of white I did today in all their bleachy glory. It was a sort of high for me, one I would not get by merely smelling clean laundry from your baskets (if you were to use bleach, that is). I need it hot... er, fresh from the dryer.

Besides, I learned today that Bug is one hell of a Sock Sorter. Planted on our bed, she busied herself making a ginormous sock pile of the socks I threw at her, giggling incessantly, and she was amazingly adept at matching them up once the pile was finished. Who needs whistling while you work when there's a giggly Bug nearby?

I really hope you don't mind this departure from the routine we have followed for some time now. You are, of course, more than welcome to join us for sock sorting shenanigans.

Love you,
mrtl

Resolved

Note: Yes, I'm posting my Motif Monday a few days early. I'm trying to mentally prepare myself for GO time.

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Resolutions don't usually work for me because I'm all about instant gratification. If I don't see results immediately, I tend to give up. I'm trying to change this. I've decided to set one resolution for myself for 2006. Focus may come more easily if I only have one item. Too bad it's so loaded.

My resolution: Be selfish. 2006 shall be the Year of Me.

Why? I neglect myself. I skip taking a shower most days. I don't take care of my physical health. I don't make time to do special things I want to do. I long for something as simple as a hobby or learning a basic new skill. I use Bug as an excuse all too often, as if I can't take care of myself and be a good mother at the same time. This is a horrible trend; I am losing myself. Add another kid to the mix, and I'm going to disappear if I don't get my shit straight. I need to take time for me.

My plan isn't going to be completely clear anytime soon. I need to consider past successes, what's worked for me before. I need to figure out how to set myself up for success, and adjust accordingly if I miscalculate. How am I going to be accountable? I need a plan, to set measurable goals. More importantly, I need to prepare myself for the inevitable setbacks so they don't result in the loss of my resolve.

There are several things I can do to consider 2006 a successful year in this capacity. I'll follow each with a measurable goal.

1. Shower. Every day. [Did I shower today?]
2. Work out. Go to the gym regularly, take walks, MOVE. Especially after Frida's born, this is going to be a huge issue and will -- physically and emotionally -- weigh me down if it's not attended to. [Did I get to the gym or was I otherwise active at least 4 times this week?]
3. Get out. Take a class, go on a date, meet people. [Have I had a fun break this week?]

I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to keep on top of myself, to stay motivated. I don't think a reward system will help; the reward has to be my happiness and satisfaction, not some external thing. One thing I think will help is to be as open about my progress as possible, especially with myself. When I quit smoking, I told everyone I quit smoking, making it partially a matter of pride and avoiding the humiliation of public failure. I said that I knew I'd be successful because I had made a promise to myself, and if I can't keep a promise to myself, what are my promises worth? Am I committed enough to this plan to make such a promise? Look at what's at stake. If I don't take care of myself, what kind of example is that for my kids? I'll teach them to be considerate of others, but what about themselves? How are they going to grow knowing without a doubt that they're important, too?

Yeah. Pinky promise. And to publicly keep track of my progress, I'm going to keep a calendar. On it I'll post what I've done that has met my goals. I'm toying with the idea of starting a separate blog dedicated to this, but I struggle keeping two right now (not counting Frida's neglected one, which will be getting a lot more attention after she's here).

Now for the plan. The shower is easy enough. I just need to consider it important enough to do it and adjust my schedule accordingly. To get out, I need to check schedules of classes, mister mrtl's work schedule and other social opportunities to figure out what my options are. If pickings are slim, it'll be me time nonetheless, getting out to do something. That leaves the work outs.

As you know, I've been trying to psych myself up for working out. The "Get off your ass!" banner campaign didn't work, obviously. Obviously? I went two times, folks. Twice. My original plan was to take Bug to the CDC and hit the gym before coming home. Then I started thinking. I won't be able to take Frida there with me; they don't allow kids in the workout rooms. The community center on base has equipment, and I could take Frida to hang out in her carseat while I use the treadmill or whatever. Thing is that the community center doesn't open till 10, and since Bug goes to school at 8, the early-morning option is out.

So. When the weather gets nicer, we can go for walks earlier in the day, but that's several months away. My best bet now is to hit the community center before picking up Bug in the afternoon. When Frida comes, she can join me there. One concern with this is how inconvenient it will make getting a shower. I could shower in the morning, but then I'll need another one after working out. Believe me I'll need a shower; I sweat like a pig when I actually work myself, which I'll need to do (cardio!) to lose the baby weight. How am I going to get a shower in the afternoon? Unless mister mrtl is home, it's not going to be easy to accomplish till after the kids are in bed, meaning I'll be sitting around with my stanky-ass self the whole afternoon. Am I making this more difficult than it should be? Logistics!

Whatever I do, I want to get into the habit well before Frida comes; otherwise it may be harder to get going. This needs to be sorted out, and fast.

Your advice is welcome on this. Any ideas?

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On Motif Monday: I've decided that this will be the final Motif Monday. I will still write the Good Deed post at some point, but don't need any added stress or feeling of obligation right now. I set myself up the wrong way with this, making it harder to follow through; I should have picked topics that I already had half-written in my mind. Oh well.

If you participate this week, let me know!

Hänni

Introducing Susie Moose

Like putting MY name on the bag made any difference in ownership of the cuddliest of mooses. We'll see if she gives Boobah a run for his money. The first sign of trouble is if she takes Susie Moose to the tent tonight.

Thanks, Susie! (Loved the others, too. I kept them from Bug so they wouldn't get confiscated as well.)

This is what I got when I requested a "Say Cheese!" Note the legs are protracted in her show of glee.

You'd think she was saying, "Please, no more pictures!" here, but Dora was on, and she was actually saying "Swiper, no swiping!"

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Update: Susie Moose is in the tent, tucked under the blanket, with Bug.

Appetizer Exchange!

Jana is hosting an appetizer exchange for New Year's (think along the lines of Susie's cookie exchange). Granted, my easy entry was going to be for chile con queso, but I'm back to the drawing board after Jana berated the use of Velveeta. It's all in the seasonings, though, so I may still post it for spite.

Consider this a place holder. I'll be back.

In the meantime, if you post something, please go over to Jana's and let her know. She needs help preparing for a shindig this weekend.

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Chile Con Queso

Long Version	Short Version
1 1/4 lb. American deli cheese 1 cup water 1 tbs spices* 1 small onion, chopped 1/4 cup green pepper 1/2 cup tomato	1 block Velveeta (the bigger one) 10 oz. can Rotel diced tomatoes with green chiles 1 tbs spices*
*Spices (mix together) 1 tbs salt 4 tsp cumin 2 tsp cayenne pepper 1 tsp garlic powder 1 tsp pepper
Mix all together and melt in double boiler. Serve with chips.

Hot Crab Dip

1 lb. crab meat 3 tbs horseradish 2 cups mayonnaise 1/2 tsp accent 1 tsp Worchester sauce 1/2 tsp salt 3 tbs Old Bay seasoning dash tobasco sauce some grated green pepper some grated cheddar cheese Mix all ingredients except cheese (gently to keep meat in clumps). Bake at 325 for 10 minutes.

TMI ~ Meme Style

I really didn't think I'd be using this as a topic for this blog. When mister mrtl finally got home last night (stupid and long meetings scheduled after 12-hour shifts... the Air Force is torturing its airmen), I told him about my malady, specifically telling him that I wasn't going to blog about it.

Then I got up this morning. Yet another day of hanging out with a sick Bug. Another day loaded with Pooh and Dora and OHMAHGOCKI'MGOINGTOLOSEMYMINDREALLYFUCKINGSOON! (And let me just interject here that mister mrtl is OFF today, so escape is imminent!)

Anyhoo, once Bug was settled with Pooh, I decided to do a little Blingo research. Wouldn't you know, I'm finding some humor in my predicament! And really, if I can't laugh about this, especially when I'm so close to the edge, this may be the final push. And if I can laugh about this, why not share it with the world? (Or at least the world that kept reading after the link above?)

It was a phrase that came up on the site I linked above that struck me as so amusing. It took me a few beats to place it. Then I realized: Turd in the Punchbowl! The meme!

Let's give it a go!

Lump in the rectum
Not a dingleberry
Lump in the rectum
The extra wipe's not necessary

Lump in the rectum
My butt is rather itchy
Lump in the rectum
Makes me pretty bitchy

I'd like to dedicate the above poetry to SJ, who has no qualms in discussing such matters. I admire her balls she nuts.

Flakier than Pastry Crust

I've lost it. Completely. It's gone. Not so much my desire to blog, but my ability to come up with anything remotely interesting to discuss or write about. While I am aware of my surroundings, I'm not seeing the humor in them. Call it the blahs if you want, but I see it more as a total flake out.

Some possible topics have come to mind. Like the Christmas present to end all Christmas presents, which is still pending, so that will wait. There's Bradley, who has reached a point of absolute fucking annoyance with his regular visits to ask to shovel our driveway; like mister mrtl telling him no yesterday would change if he rang the bell today while Bug was napping. And Bug's goings on, although having her own blog means those posts are more appropriate there.

::tangent::
It's pneumonia. She hasn't had a temperature at all today, but there's action in one lung, so she's on antibiotics now. She slept wonderfully last night, and I was even able to trick her into going down for her nap a half an hour early today since I was going to have to wake her early to get to the clinic.
::end tangent::

There's the endless complaints about the idiots here with whom I'm forced to share the road. There's the most bizarre Christmas card I've ever received (although I'm hesitant to write about it since it was from a family member). There's the "Good Deed" motif I still haven't addressed (like using the Christmas present to end all presents as I intended makes it acceptable to continue to put it off). There's my blogging anniversary, which was sometime this week (to start reading them, not writing -- that's at the end of January).

I'm starting to feel like I'm on anti-depressents again. That apathetic outlook. The meh's if you will. Maybe it's from being stuck in the house with a sick toddler for so long.

But let's move on. Part of the idea behind Motif Monday was to give time to consider a topic before writing about it, and setting a deadline so I'd get it done. While I haven't addressed the last topic assigned, I'm still going to put one up for Monday. I thank Karla and her brilliance for reminding me to do this.

next week's topic: resolved

And with that, I must go and change a poopy diaper before I throw up from the smell.

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Update: Yes, please do be amused that I titled this "Flakier than Pastry Dough" when it should have been "Flakier than Pastry Crust." It only shows how flaky I am.

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Another Update: I don't want to diminish myself and the effort it took to scrape together the above post, so I'm not going to add a new post just yet. I just had to share this.

A few minutes ago, I had a slight panic attack. Sudden craving for Taco Bell. Oh, it was harsh. I'm thinking, "Mister mrtl isn't going to check his email before leaving work, he's in a meeting so I can't call him at the office, and his cell is in my car." In my panic I did consider for half a second the fact that Bug is in bed... which is when the phone rang.

My husband is so brilliant he felt my need. Not only that, but when I answered the phone with a disbelieving "Nuh UH!" he knew why.

Such a keeper, this man.

The Daily End of Life

There comes a moment while lying in bed when one realizes that it's pointless to remain. Sleep is not going to come. With one ear straining, anticipating the cries that are sure to come when the little one's temperature goes back up, wrenching cries that would jar you from your sleep in a panic to run upstairs to comfort her, the body is simply too tense. Instead, you readjust your body, from one side to the next and back again, rearranging the pillows, taking off the covers because you're too hot, then putting them back on because you're too cold. Vain attempts to lull the body into relaxation. Also working against the efforts are the too-long nap you took that afternoon (making up from several responses to the crying child the night before), a snuggling cat that will.not.move to accommodate your comfort, and a wriggling Alien-esque creature pounding you from within. Better to go and get some thoughts out rather than stay and wake He Who Must Work Early.

Can't win either way. Half an hour after leaving to distract yourself with the computer and stupid late-night television, in he walks, worried that something's wrong with you. He tries to be reassuring, that the little one is ok and is not going to awaken. It's no use. He's sent back to bed alone.

Five minutes later, you hear the little one talking over the monitor. Is she asleep? Maybe so, since the talking stops as quickly as it started. Still, it puts the body back on high alert.

It's going to be a long night.

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Update: At 2:30 I naively tried to get some sleep, but that damned reflux interfered. Shouldn't have eaten that cookie when I got up. Back up at 4; might as well get some work done. Now it's 5:30. Bug never did wake up. One of the benefits of her illness is that she's been taking longer naps than usual. I'll try again then.

Feeling Elfish

I can totally get behind this Santa's Little Helper business. It's good to know that there's little else to do. All presents except one are wrapped. There is some decorating business that we'll take care of tonight, and one item needs to be assembled and draped.

I'm so excited to see Bug's face when she sees the tree and presents tomorrow. Hopefully she'll be in the same good spirits that have carried her through her current malady.

But also it's about the cookies. It dawned on me a couple weeks ago that someone is going to have to eat the cookies that Bug puts out for Santa. mwahahahahaha!

When Bug gets up from her nap, we're going to bake some chocolate chippers. Yummy yummy yum yum!

I'm Still Here

It appears that I have taken an unintended break from blogging. I've still been around, reading when I can. Longer posts I've set aside to read when I have time for them, so if you get a comment a month late, well, there you are.

After the Great Bakefest last weekend, I learned early this week that Bug's daycare would be closed Friday as well as Monday for Christmas and New Year's. Gah! I only have the Mondays off, so I've been scrambling this week to get some extra hours worked to cover the Fridays and other things I had going on this week.

Bug's a little under the weather today -- and only slightly tangentially I'll mention that I just noticed her temperature of 101.6 from this morning is also her birthday (October 16), -- so we're chillin' with some television. Maybe if I stopped blogging I could get some more work done. Good idea!

In case I don't get another post up by Sunday, I hope all of you have a great weekend, holiday celebrations or not!

Oh, and thanks to Dima and a little related research, I was reminded that TODAY is Festivus. Happy Festivus, everybody! May you air plenty grievances and enjoy pinning your head of household (or getting pinned if that's you)!

Starting a Revolution

Just in from Big Brother:

Mom asked me yesterday if Christmas Curry would be alright. SEE WHAT YOU'VE DONE!?

The other day, I posted or linked to the recipes for the goodies I made this weekend. Unfortunately, these followed some nasty puke talk, so a lot of you didn't see the recipes. To make things easier for you:

Download the Recipes! (DOC File - 26 KB)

Right click on the link to save target to your hard drive.