Doozy of all WTFs

Back in August we pulled Bug out of the child development center on base and put her at a local center. It made sense at the time. It was closer (considering winter and Frida, this is a major concern for me), and I was impressed with the place when I toured it back in May.

But now something smelled funny. By the end of Bug's first week there, we put her back on the waiting list for the CDC. (Really, something did smell funny there. I didn't notice it when I first toured the joint. That was my first hint that things weren't quite right with the place.)

There have been other issues, too. Gah - a list is necessary.

1. The room I toured wasn't the room she was put in.
2. I have to walk through two other classrooms to get to her room. The two rooms are for younger kids, many of whom are crawling and drooling and trying to grab me.
3. There's a policy in their handbook about wearing "inside" shoes that they don't enforce (and that the teachers didn't even know about when I brought it up). This is mainly an issue for me considering the baby rooms and people walking through there.
4. They serve a breakfast "snack" rather than a full breakfast, yet it costs more than the CDC?
5. While I haven't seen a lot of turnover with employees (a plus), they are a mess in the mornings. Often Bug will have to go to another room and/or stay with another teacher until her teacher is there and her room opens up.
6. We were told on her third day there that she was the best behaved in the room. I wouldn't mind this so much if she were the oldest, but she's not even close. (Note this was the day before we put her back on the waiting list at the CDC.)
7. Before we put her there, mister mrtl had heard (directly/indirectly I don't know) a local kindergarten teacher say that their worst behaved students come from this place.
8. I can see why, because there's very little direct supervision and (from what I can tell) few directed activities. There aren't routines for preparing for meals, or cleaning up. The CDC rocked this. Kids knew exactly what was expected of them and participated in cleaning up their dishes, washing their hands and going to the next activity.
9. They give us a daily report that is regularly incomplete and highly suspect to its accuracy. They say she ate entire meals of food that she's never had before or that she absolutely doesn't like. (Granted this is possible, but knowing my daughter, it's suspect that she ate the whole thing either way.) They say she's gone hours without a wet diaper. That just doesn't happen. Chalk that up to laziness.
10. Update: Can't forget the juice! Not too long after starting there, Bug was having a serious issue with diarrhea (kept her home one day, and almost had to pick her up another day). In troubleshooting, I asked her teacher not to give her juice or a whole lot of fruit there, to which she agreed. Last week, mister mrtl got home from picking her up and asked me if I had changed the request. Bug's teacher had commented on what a good girl she was that day, and that she had eaten all her snack and drunk her juice. When he asked about it, she said they just put a little bit of juice in her water to make her think she had juice like the other kids.

The next day, I clarified my request. The teacher (who looks like she's fresh out of high school) looked at me like I was making a huge stink over nothing. No, adding a squirt of juice to her water isn't going to cause diarrhea. That wasn't my point, but she's my child and I'm their paying customer, so hell if I'm obligated to justify my request. Later that day, when I was picking up Bug, I was given a form to have signed BY THE DOCTOR to approve the switch of water for juice. Fuckers. I played their stupid game, having to go to the clinic anyway, but it pissed me off. They tried to tell me it was about the government funding that I'll mention below.

W.T.F. is wrong with this place? Are these people trained at all in early childhood development? If they know we limit juice at home, why would giving her the perception of getting away with something at school be a good idea? SO WHAT if she cries! You say, "You had your juice this morning, Bug" and she'll be fine. FINE! I am so over this place.

The issues we have aren't egregious enough to pull her immediately from their program, but it's not the place to keep her for the next 2 1/2 years. And there's no way in hell I'd leave a baby there.

We found out the other day that Bug is #2 on the waiting list for the CDC. Granted, dual military families take priority, so that number could fluctuate, and we're now out of the normal PCS schedule (most moves happen during the summer). Hopefully it won't be too much longer before a spot opens for her... especially after the latest events.

Yesterday the school's director handed me a stack of papers. One was a sob story about how laws and requirements have changed (e.g., teacher/student ratio, fire protection, playground equipment) and prices have gone up for utilities. It talks about how much it costs to bring everything up to code. How many spaces they've had to lose. How much new playground equipment costs (and that they can't use some of the existing equipment since it doesn't meet the new code). Because of the new requirements, they will not be serving hot meals anymore (sob: "We have to meet code just to microwave food!"). To add insult to injury, they're raising their monthly rates ($30 for us). The other paper was to apply for more government assistance to reimburse them for the oh-so-yummy and oh-so-cold meals that they'll be serving our child.

Is this a case of lesser of two evils? Be careful what you wish for? Look before you leap? We didn't see the CDC as a long-term care solution for us because of the distance, because of mister mrtl's schedule (making me primarily responsible for Bug's transport to and from), because of my work, because of the weather here, because of the new baby. It's reassuring to know that work is amenable to me cutting my hours more once Bug goes back. The other becauses are still major concerns, though.

Bottom line: Bug is the most important factor, so we'll deal.

Comments

[eclectic]

Don't you wish you could put a nanny-cam in the daycare center that watches your child? Eeeek! My hackles are up just reading about this school of Bug's!! (Littlest Eclectic attends a 'playgroup' for a couple of hours each day, but it is on-site where I work, and yes, there's a monitor screen where we parents can remotely view the playroom and see our little ones without sticking our faces into the room and causing a ruckus. It's a beautiful thing.) Hope the CDC opens up for Bug SOON!!!!

[Circus Kelli]

I'm with you sister... Punkin was in daycare from the time she was 10 weeks old and I know that nagging feeling of something just isn't "quite right" and "we need to make a change." both with centers and in-the-home sitters.

Here's to hoping the transition goes smoothly and quickly for you.

[Circus Kelli]

Oh, and I meant to add TRUST THOSE INSTINCTS.

[william]

I hope it all works out for you.

[amy]

As much as it can be hard to be a SAHM, this kind of stuff makes me feel so damn lucky.

Unbelievable how they can justify dropping the hot meals and whining to you about all their costs. Here's sending movin' on up the list vibes Bug's way.

[Hänni]

Maybe this is nerdy, but I can't freakin stand the fact that they gave you a written sob story as a justification for price hike and reduced services.

I mean, if you're going to raise the prices, FINE. It happens, but be a f*ing professional about it. Instead of "oh my God, we can't even microwave food anymore because the big old bad inspectors said we were idiots", just say "This letter is to notify you that we will be upgrading our facility as mandated by the codes of the blah blah blah. As such the cost of your monthly child care services will be increasing X%. Thank you for understanding."

I guess I have my panties in a knot about this b/c we have someone at the office who has been doing a job that requires these types of notifications be delivered. She has been doing it for many, many years, and should KNOW BETTER. Regardless about once a week I see a memo posted somewhere that is riddled with bad grammar, misspellings and juvenile rantings.

Makes me crazy (er than i already am!)

[mrtl]

eclectic - That would be useful. They do have cameras in their front office, but I'd still have to go there.

Kelli - Yep, and I'm kicking myself now for not doing a second tour after the spot opened for her. (Whether that would have affected our decision or not I'm not sure, though.)

william - Thanks. Shit would be so much easier if I could just do the stay at home thing. I'm just not cut out for it.

amy - I know. Sad thing is, this business has a couple other locations in the city. We're all getting the sob story.

Hänni - And, oh, help us get more government funding since now we're suffering so! Like they didn't see it coming. Bull. Shit.

Just thought of another irkdome. I'll add it to the post.

[Adrienne]

A doctor's note for JUICELESSNESS? I could see this if you were telling them they had to give her, say, some medicine, or if they had to give her, let's say, beer instead of juice, but WTF?

[Susie]

What Adrienne said; I just can't fathom why YOU, the MOMMY, need a doctor's note to get them to follow your instructions. I hope you find a solution very soon that feels just right with your heart. I gave up on the daycare search when LG was newborn, and I worked out my schedule so that Jif and I just traded off, never had to involve a third party those first 3 years. I was truly blessed to have that as an option, and I know that most people don't.

[mrtl]

Adrienne - Actually, they don't have a nurse on staff. They don't do medicine.

Get. me. out. of. there.

Susie - Sounds like you had a great situation there!

[The Anti-Stalker]

I will add that Bug seems *very* happy at this daycare and is not acting unhappy in any way. She's always involved in some serious happy playtime when we pick her up and she raves out having fun "play(ing) outside" and with "friends." That said, the CDC will be better for her, but don't get the impression she's suffering or being neglected or anything.

[mrtl]

T A-S - True - we wouldn't have her there at all if there were major problems. She did seem happier at the CDC. It didn't take as long for her to adjust to it.

[catherine]

I hate to say it, but it sounds like this place has serious problems. How can they have all those code violations all of a sudden??
Requiring you to get a doctor's note about the juice was just being bitchy. I'd have raised a stink, because I'd have to pay to go to the doctor's.
It really pulls at your heart strings when you're not happy with your child care. I hope you can get her back in the CDC soon.

[Annejelynn]

wait a secky - is that $30 per day? $30/week? per month? wha?

[The Anti-Stalker]

They changed the code requirements in town, so what used to be up to code no longer is. $30 a month. I have taken over the Blog! All hail me! Hey, mrtl, there's a really clear view of McKinley today if you look...

[Annejelynn]

wow ~ pardon me, but HOLY SHIT! $30 a month ROCKS!!! Try 15 times tat for one month for just one kid!

[The Anti-Stalker]

Nonononono. The price is going up by $30 a month. It's gonna be like $700

[Daphne]

LAME. Triple lame. super duper crazy lame.

Does that help? No? Well, anyway, I'm sorry to hear about this insanity.

Maybe Bug is having fun because they let her do whatever she wants all the time, wee!

[Annejelynn]

oh - okay. I was having a heart attack there. $700/mon sounds more like it

[ieatcrayonz]

Whew! And I thought getting lied to my face was bad. Sheesh. That sob story sounds like a definite cop out.

If the weather is really that bad, she can stay home, right? I can't wait to hear about your adventures in snow chains! Whoo hoo!

[mrtl]

T A-S - Thanks for holding up the fort while I was gone. I'll have to fill you in on my fun misadventures of the afternoon over a steaming bowl of chili tonight.

I saw the mountain today, and it was good.

catherine - Totally bitchy of them. It's like they thought I couldn't get it, and they're too lazy to keep track of what happens with which kid without such... ummm... motivation?

Annejelynn - $30/month would explain a lot. Oh well.

Daphne - She's in with some weirdos, though. Hello, Riley? Kid ALWAYS has something on her head (basket, bowl, whatever) or is trying to force herself between Bug and us. Freak.

yonz - Your story took the cake. And yes, if the weather's bad enough, I'll keep her home. Thing is, I was raised with a Maryland state of mind when it comes to the weather. What may keep me home would make Wisconsin-bred mister mrtl think I'm a wussypuss.

Adventures in snow chains. Thanks for reminding me. Hey T A-S, the maintenance light came on today. I think the truck is due for an oil change. Do we have to take it to Toyota for that?

Bug says hi.

[Pissy Britches]

Sounds like my little girls daycare pretty much EXACTLY like it. I wish I had some advice but I don't. I am chicken shit to move McKenna b/c she loves it there..me not so much but her..loves it.

[Grace]

WTF? indeed! Poor you -- even if Bug's doing fine there, you don't need the extra stress... Here's hoping someone moves fast and a spot opens up for Bug!

[Amanda B.]

I wish we lived closer so that I could babysit Bug. Why you gots to live in Alaska??

You are an amazing mother my friend.

[mrtl]

Pissy - It makes it easier to know that Bug loved the CDC when she was there. Fucking hindsight.

Grace - Thanks! It took a month and a half last time. My fingers and toes are crossed.

Amanda - Woman. You're in prime position right now to move your ass up here. I'm sure Bug would love the harem.

[Von Krankipantzen]

How infuriating! Even moreso when you can't move her right away out of that situation. At least she seems to enjoy it. That is a small consolation.

[mrtl]

Kranki - Small consolation for a lot of things this week. Like getting packages back from BC with street names from OK. GAH! (No, I'm not going to let it go.)

[Andrea]

Yikes...You're right to trust your gut. It's good that she seems to be happy there, but it does sound like it's not a good long-term option.

It can be heartwrenching to have to trust other people with our children. I've been there. Very bad experience (have I blogged that? Can't remember; I'll have to go back and check).

[jana]

whoa mrtl let me tell I used to work at a daycare and the only thing I can say is...the things you SEE are better than the things you do NOT see. Not to be Debbie Downer here, but if this list is long, imagine if you stayed there all day and saw the things you don't normally see. It would frighten you.

On the other hand, as I said, I did work for a daycare and they have INSANE codes they have to live up to, and if they are not corrected ASAP they are shut down. The juice is government funded and they have to take into account EVERY SINGLE meal they give out, including juice. But this does not explain why they can't give her water though, I doubt the government would be able to figure out who wasn't drinking (and how much they throw out anyway).

I've always thought adequate daycare in this country is pathetic. I worked at a national chain, and was still paid minimum wage. do you think taking care of 20 kids all day long is worth $5 an hour!?!? And still the parents are paying boo-coo bucks and not receiving exceptional care. Can you tell this is one of my biggest pet peeves???!?!

Good luck...as Amanda said if you weren't in Alaska I'd watch the Bug myself!

[Summer]

Yikes, yikes, yikes. I feel for you, mrtl. Glad you're placing her elsewhere, too. :)

[laurenbove]

Oh yikes. Your connundrum is a tough one. Why not do spot inspections and show up unannounced at unusual times. This should at least keep them on their toes.

My sister was just informed that at her expensive private fancy schmacy nursery school that there is a disruptive emotionally disturbed child (that was kicked out of two previous schools) with a "shadow" (someone who shadows the child) and has caused the other children to be fearful and not want to go to school.

I don't think she's too happy to be paying top dollar to have her 4yr old's first experience with school to be a negative one...but in the real life I guess she'll have to deal with things like this anyway. I don't know what to tell her. It's a tough one.

I don't think I'll even be able to afford to send S to preschool. He'll have to get his prelearning from me. poor thing...and the kids at the playground and the child care center where I do pt.

[Daphne]

Oh mrtl, my "best friend" in later elementary school turned out to be the girl with the basket on her head in preschool. (In preschool, I mainly stuck to myself and read a lot, or at least that's how I remember it. Yes, I have always been an antisocial freak.) And yes, she was nuts.

I'm a little confused though--does she have fun at the crazy chain place or just at the CDC?

In my boss' office yesterday, the CFO told me (again) I should be having babies and my boss sighed and disagreed--I think he doesn't want to lose me to maternity leave, or at least that's what I'm telling myself. He's probably right. Oh but work is so boring. That's why I'm online rather than in the shower getting ready to go.

[kalki]

I just have one thing to say. To the Anti-Stalker: Um, next time why doncha give us a heads up on mrtl's birthday? Mmmmkay?

That is all.

[mrtl]

Andrea - NO TESTS! I don't know!

jana - This is why I trust the CDC more. There is much more government regulation/oversight there.

I'd be willing to pay more for BETTER care or a BETTER environment. Not getting it at this place.

Summer - Long road, it is. Next thing you know I'll be up against old, crusty and outdated books. FUN!

laurenbove - That sucks. Parents need to band together to take care of that shit. It's unbelievable that the school allows it. You expect more supervision over the kids in a preschool.

Daphne - She's having fun there, though it's taken a while for her to adjust. It's fine for the short term, but she's not learning much. When she was with the CDC, she was constantly coming home with new songs, phrases (oh - pardon me - positive phrases. In the bath we swore she said, "Make me do it" when I asked her to give me a broken toy.), and skills. This place? Not so much.

kalki - Mark your calendar, babe. October 2, 1971. 7:10am. 6 lbs. 4 oz. 19.5 inches. (Current stats will NOT be divulged.)

[kalki]

Ha, mrtl, I actually DID put it on my calendar. Before your comment, I mean. I saw you mention to Raz (I think) in a comment that it was Sunday. I won't be a birthday fool next year - oh no!

[spoonleg]

Oh my gosh, that juice thing would just have me FURIOUS. You DO NOT need a doctor's order to instruct a child care facility what not to give your kids to eat or drink! What if she had an allergy? Or what if you were strict with her diet, ie limiting sugar? What if she was only allowed to have juice at certain times during the day? That is pure insanity. They should accomodate your request, no questions asked. There is nothing too difficult about giving a child a cup of water instead of juice.

[mrtl]

kalki - You're a smart one, you!

spoonleg - I know. It's recommended that kids only get so much juice a day, so she's always been limited. Besides, it goes right through her -- too much means diarrhea, so it's disturbing to think just how much they were giving her.

Whatever, though. This is now temporary. I'll play their fucking game and bide the time till the CDC space opens up.