Road Rage

I drive so little these days, and traffic really doesn't get that bad around here (or where we were in Texas for that matter), so lately the closest I've come to road rage is having Bug underfoot as I'm trying to carry something from hither to thither. Yeah... bad topic for me. I feel obligated to post something, though, but I won't waste your time. I'll give you a funny yet short story from high school. This supposedly happened to my brother's friend's brother. With me? Something was a little off about the guy. If I remember correctly, he was hit by a bus or something when he was a kid. Whatever, we'll call him Harry.

One day Harry was driving around, and decided he was in need of some self-fondling. Apparently not being one to stifle such socially inappropriate impulses, he unzipped and went to work. Stopped at a red light, a guy in a truck next to him honked at him.

As he told the story later, there was no embarrassment over having a witness. Rather he was pissed about the interruption.

next week's topic: money

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Let me know if you played!

Cranky, eclectic, Homestead, Kalki, Susie

Comments

[Hänni]

I had the same scenerio happen in college, but not in traffic. My BF and his roomie had an agreement, that when one went to class, the other would lock the door, pull down their drawers, and get their bizness done post haste.

Well one day, after having walked with BF to class, we realized he didn't have his calculus book. Though BF was resisting, i inisisted we go back and get it. Predictably door was locked. I opened it, and there was his skinny ass roommate wearing the teeniest, faggiest polka dot boxers I'd ever seen. He had his headphones on and was staring at the computer.

I went *EH HEM* really loud. No response. I bumped into their dresser, no response. Eventually I walked right next to the dude and grabbed the book.

Mr. Palm Jockey just gave me a stare down. Didn't try to cover up.

[kalki]

First of all, EEEW. Second, here in Redneck Valley a few years back, a teenage girl had her face in the lap of her teenage boyfriend who happened to be driving at the time. She must have been pretty good because he drove them headfirst into a car. (Oy, sorry for using headfirst - what a naughty pun.) As I recall, no one was seriously hurt. But um....STILL.

I played.

[mrtl]

Hänni - Probably shocked him, like a deer in headlights. At least that's what I would hope. Ugh!

kalki - And the story got around. Sad indeed.

[eclectic]

What? No moose-in-roadway traffic jams? *sigh* Alaska is so overrated.... ;)

[mrtl]

eclectic - Word. The only moose I've seen were at the zoo and from a train.

[cat]

I feel so dirty now. DIRTY!

Hee. "...drove them headfirst into a car..." I just got that, kalki! Good one.

[Ern]

Ewwww! And he told people about it!? Weeeeird!

[Daphne]

Hm, my story has nothing to do with penises.

But anyway, I participated!

[LadyBug]

Wow.

And also: Gross.

Oh, and: Ick.

That is all.

[Von Krankipantzen]

Um...YUCK!

[cheryl]

Do you suppose he eventually ended up with an arrest record for indecent exposure charges?? Back when I managed restaurants, we had a busboy who got arrested for taking care of business during his break--behind a rack in a teenage girl-type clothing store in the mall. He was caught by the security camera, doing the deed, while wearing the apron with the restaurant's logo clearly emblazened on the front! Haa!

[eclectic]

p.s. I played Motif Monday. Thanks for coming up with these ideas and sharing them.

[amy]

i can't play motif monday BECAUSE I HAVE NO BLOG.

But good one, Harry. I knew of a guy who was getting a BJ from his wife and got pulled over for driving erratically. The cop was his buddy, though, and they had a good laugh over it. Small towns are good like that.

[Karla]

I'm always shocked at how unashamed guys often are to do things like that in the presence of others. I have a couple male friends who are roommates, and they will watch porn together and RACE to see who can "finish" first. Yep, they just whip it out and go to town, each on his own couch in the living room. And when the "winner" finishes, he will jump up and start messing with the one still trying to "finish," and try to throw him off his game. You know, like by making fun of him or throwing things at him or whatever. I mean, seriously, that is some screwy behavior.

[mrtl]

Cat - Dirtier to be... My brother emailed me to tell me one time this guy answered the door in such a state. Gah!!

Ern - Something wasn't quite right there.

Daphne - No penises? Awe, man!

LadyBug - I know. Like, um, what do they do about the mess when they're driving?

Kranki - !

cheryl - That kid had to have wanted to get caught. Hello? Dressing room??

eclectic - Thank YOU for participating!

amy - It's all good till it becomes public knowledge and they're snickering at you in church.

Karla - That's just sick. A friend's boyfriend, away at college, played a "balls out" game with his fratmates. They all had holes cut special in their jeans for it. Boys are just gross.

[jana]

Wow. I mean, really. Sometimes I wonder why I have a blog when so many people have these insane stories.

Boys are icky.

[Amanda B.]

What? I get randy in traffic all the time, I don't see the problem.

I keeeeed. Poor Harry and his failed flogging of the dolphin. Or, poor truck driver and his forever damaged retinas.

[Summer]

IDB!

[kalki]

Where the wtf? tuesday are you, woman? If you think I can go 24 hours without my mrtl fix, THINK AGAIN.

[Susie]

I'm late as hell, but thought of a road rage story to post. You're late, too!

[mrtl]

Jana - You know you have some. You're holding back. ;)

Amanda - I wonder how...

A math teacher I used to work with said an eighth grade girl in her class used to sit on her foot and rock. Other kids were totally onto her and would ask the teacher to make her stop.

Summer - Even mister mrtl, Knower of the Cool New Lingo, is stumped on that one. IDB?

Kalki - Mister mrtl and I went out to breakfast after dropping off the Bug, then I had to drive him to base to get his car, then I came home and tried to catch up with work (on top of my deficit from yesterday), then we picked up the Bug and went to dinner. I'm just now getting online for fun, and my brain is not with me.

What to write?? I'm sure I'll come up with something.

Susie - Yay! Thanks for the head's up. I'll get to reading one of these days.

[Susie]

Oh, I know IDB: It's "I dropped by." For those times when you want to say you were there, but don't really have anything else to say. There are also variations of it, like: IDMP: "I dropped my pants." OR IDB2DMP: "I dropped by to drop my pants." (Thanks to Bucky for the former; moi for the latter.)

[mrtl]

Susie - Thank you! Good ones to know!

[kalki]

It's okay to be too busy for blogging, mrtl. I just missed you, that's all. (And two meals out in one day? SCORE!)

[ieatcrayonz]

So long as the score didn't occur afterwards in the backseat. I'm just saying. Shite, that's K's line.

Ya know, Blogger should really be ashamed of itself for eating Amy's blog, but I can't help but feel sorry for the new gal with her old address. Amy, for the love of all that is holy, start a new blog before that poor girl loses it. She's being so nice about the whole thing.

Let's have a contest for Amy's new blog name.
How about www.eatshitanddieblogger.blogspot.com?

[mrtl]

kalki - You missed me! :) sweetie

yonz - ew - Bug's in the backseat.

I can't believe that Amy's blog was given to someone else. Hopefully she can at least get back her posts.