Hännification

Have y'all met Hänni (HAW-knee)? She has endeared herself to me, looking after my best pie interests (being a transplanted Alaska girl herself and familiar with the good Anchorage eateries) and sending me on a mission to check out the pie at Gwennies. She has taken my blog as her lover, too. I can't promise her that my blog is pure, though (he gets around, you know), so she may want to get tested. I won't be held accountable if any cooties are passed. You've been warned, girlfriend.

On my last post, Hänni stopped in and said, "When I first saw "peri-bottle" I thought it was "periwinkle" and I thought "how delightful, she must be writing about butterflies or gemstones." I love that she uses "delightful" regularly. Anyway, rather than spend more time reorganizing the garage -- making a nice little seating area for us to sit comfortably to remove our shoes -- I played a little with PhotoShop. Behold the periwinkle peri-bottle, adorned with butterflies and gemstones.

And, as also discussed, it's functional, too! Post coital clean up will be a cinch!

Comments

[Susie]

periwinkle, butterflies, gemstones -- aw, that's so nice . . . then you throw in "post-coital" It was a little jarring, that's all I'm sayin' . . .

[Hänni]

OMG OMG OMG I'm famous!

All I need now is an assitant following me around, saying things like "Of course I'll shave your hairy toes" and "Yes, mistress. I'll have your Evian right away."

Any takers?

[song]

will the evian come out of a butterflied peri-bottle? sorry, that was wrong on so many levels.

[lawbrat]

Mrtl, I have a bone to pick with you, or rather a pie. For 2 nights in a ROW I have had dreams of PIE. Last night was pumpkin with not enough whip cream, and strawberry. Night before it was blueberry with a sugary crumb topping. Your killin me here!

BTW, love peri-bottles. That. is. all.

[jana]

is it too late to name your mascot peribottle???

Love the butterflies too.

[jomama]

I'm glad I came back for the definition cause I learned something else new. I assumed the peri was short for peroxide (duh, that would be a pero-bottle). I know what it's short for now.

I am SO looking forward to childbirth now. I was looking at a pregnancy site and accidentally found myself looking at pictures of someone's labor in gross detail, so this peri-bottle business just adds to my fear and horror at the thought of pushing out a baby. I wish the stork would just delivery the kid for me instead :(

Oh yeah, and you guys use that thing for other purposes afterwards? My husband would probably lose his mind if he knew what that was for and saw me basting a turkey or squirting the kid with it, lol.

[kalki]

Okay, I had no idea what a peri-bottle was, but after having seen pictures of it, I'm pretty darn sure it was part of my childhood bath-toy collection. And I'm not sure how I feel about that.

[ieatcrayonz]

Your attempts at beautifying the peri-bottle are not keeping me from holding back a retch.

Blech.

[LadyBug]

I cannot BELIEVE it never occurred to me to keep the peri-bottle to assist in post-coital cleanup.

I must get another one now. Preferably, a periwinkle one, adorned with gemstones and butterflies.

[ScottyGee]

For post-coital cleanup I like to keep a pressure washer handy in the bedroom. I find it really works the best and re-energizes me for another round. After the numbness wears off, that is.

Mrtl, you are hilarious. I have never heard of a peri-bottle and now I hope I never see one. I'll never looks at sports bottles the same way.

[ScottyGee]

Oh, I forgot. I'll gladly be Hanni's cabana boy/assistant as well. Although, I am not really sure about the toe shaving part. I could squirt Evian out of a peri-bottle into her mouth as needed like she's a boxer or soemthing though and slap her behind for encouragement on occasion. Hehee.

[Echrai]

That is just too cool. The periwinkle peri-bottle of sparkly loveliness. This makes me giggle heartily.

[suburban misfit]

You all crack me up.

[mrtl]

Susie - Jarring? Why would "post-coital" not conjure up sweet thoughts, too?

Hänni - Your man is below! Have you met Hotty Scotty?

song - ::snort::

lawbrat - The only way to rid yourself of that is to celebrate Pie Day Friday.

jana - That would be Hänni's call.

Jomama - Actually, the spray of warm water down there is pretty nice. I used mine much longer than recommended.

As far as after use, BLEACH. (The peri-bottle never actually touches anything -- and doesn't get sprayed up the hoo hoo either, if people were thinking that, -- but it's best to be safe from possible sprayback - gag.) Or, better yet, ask for a second bottle at the hospital (tell them you have an upstairs and downstairs bathroom).

kalki - It's all good!

yonz - I'll hold your hair, honey.

LadyBug - You think there's a market for these? I'm still trying to figure out how to make my million.

ScottyGee - There's nothing wrong with a peri-bottle. Not only is it functional and fun, but it's an educational device as well. Bug practices her screwing skills in the bath all the time. (That didn't sound right... I mean she practices putting on and removing the top.)

Echrai - I think I should start considering a business plan. Wouldn't everyone want one of these?

misfit - Where are all the king's horses and all the king's men? (And do you think the horses will really be able to help?)

[Susie]

"Coital" is not a pretty word, I don't care how you say it.

ScottyGee with the pressure washer, you CRACKED. ME. UP. And I thank you :)

[Mama Duck]

The peri bottle was all I got at the hospital in WI, but back in TX I got a Sitz Bath too which is the bestest invention ever for post-partum hooha ailments...

[Von Krankipantzen]

So THAT'S what it is called. Learned something.

[amy]

Mrtl you are so unbelievably cool. Who puts butterflies on a peri-bottle?
You do. I want one like that. We have one around here somewhere but it ain't that pretty.

[mrtl]

Susie - I harbor no ill will towards any word with a dipthong. That's just me.

Mama Duck - WAH! I didn't get a sitz bath.

Kranki - Knowledge is power.

Amy - Mine isn't either. I do have some paint, though...

[Hänni]

I want everyone to know, negotiations are in the works for ScottyGee to be my PA, mostly because mrtl called him "the hottie".

And Jana, yes, the peribottle not only acts as a power cleanser/bath toy, but now, for a limited time you can parade it around as some sort of crazy, repugnant mascot. Act now and you'll get a colostomy bag and one of those baby nose picker things thrown in absolutely FREE!