Secrets

I believe in the Federation of the Blog, the unspoken trust that knowledge gained from off-blog discussions about things that haven't been blogged yet -- and maybe never will -- will not be divulged. Our stories are our own, no matter how juicy the tidbits. Yes, I know some juicy tidbits. Wouldn't you like to know?! Too bad. Nee ner nee ner. This is a practice in "real" life, too.

While I am great at keeping other peoples' secrets, though, I suck at keeping my own. This is why I don't shop for gifts until immediately before they are to be given. This is why I don't bother with elaborately-planned surprises. Really, what's the point if it's all going to be revealed prior to zero hour?

Which is why right now I am suffering, and avoiding calling friends and family back home. I know I won't be able to keep my mouth shut. See, mister mrtl and I decided to wait to tell our parents about Frid until we can do it in person. All will/should be coming out sometime in August. Most of my friends are in contact with my parents, and I don't want to put them in a position of suffering as I am. Yes, trust is a factor, too. If my parents were to find out through someone else, it would hurt them. I don't want to take that chance.

Several times now I have told mister mrtl that I'm going to break, that I have to tell them. He is supportive, "Do what you have to do," but reminds me of how much more special I think it would be if we're all together. This has been a big practice in self control. And avoidance. I couldn't do it without the avoidance. When I call my parents, it's usually to let Bug take the phone and babble at them for a while. The less time I spend talking to them, the less likely I will spill the beans.

ARGGGHHHHH!

next week's topic: goals

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Note: Links will be added to participating blogs. If you're not included here, please comment with a link to your post.

Bente, ieatcrayonzJenn, Kalki, La Pix, Lawbrat, Nanina, Raz, Vajana

Comments

[william]

I love Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy. Also I noticed all the pies you have had. Are you going to rate them?
I can't believe you have not told your folks yet. That's pretty good.

[ieatcrayonz]

You have more self control than I. When I peed on the stick after work, I knew Rancito wouldn't be home until late (10pm to be exact, Effer). I HAD to tell somebody, so I called my parents. Yeah, I probably should've waited to tell them in person. My dad's silence just didn't do it for me.

[Susie]

Oh, honey, no wonder you wanted to write about secrets. I sure couldn't do it that way. If you change your mind, it will still be special. PLUS, it will give them even more to look forward to on their visit -- patting your tummy, pampering you, and they won't expect the house to be all that clean . . . There are benes to be milked here, mrtl, consider carefully.

This is SO special, just as is, this expecting thing. You don't have to torture yourself to make it MORE special. Hmmm, I surprise myself by having an opinion on this matter, which I am not doing very well at keeping secret ;)

I'm an excellent secret keeper, BTW.

[Bente]

I don't envy you mrtl. I wouldn't be able to keep that secret for long. I agree with Susie though, should you change your mind. ;)

[Amy]

I can't keep a secret worth shite. We never made a big deal of the telling part, just let everyone know over a couple of weeks. Susie's right. The pregnancy and baby that comes is the most awesome thing. I say if you let them know sooner they can share in the joy of the first trimester too!

[lawbrat]

Thats a 'good' secret, there are different 'types' of secrets. I really liked your post today, then went and wrote my Mondy post. If you wait too long, when they see you, you wont get a chance to tell them. It will be visible!
Hugs to you!

[mrtl]

william - The pies have been rated a little in the comments sections. So far, meh. The butterscotch and chocolate cream are close first and seconds. After that? meh I learned this week that the majority of the fruit pies are made out of cans, which may explain that.

With the parents, we expect them out often, which made waiting feasible. That may be held off with my parents due to renovations they have yet to start, so telling them before that may end up being the case.

yonz - I feel you on that. I'd much rather do it in person.

Susie - Actually, that's not why I picked this topic. I was going in another direction when it swerved right into this. Go figure.

Yes, I am surprised that you are giving an opinion, but I'm happy you did. It helps make me feel better about considering just telling them already.

Bente - Keeping it this long. With Bug I had only had to wait a couple weeks till work flew me home on business. Gah!

Amy - That's the thing. There's just not much going on right now. (See Frid's site for proof there.) I don't have much to talk about with it.

I'm thinking my desire to tell will become stronger after my first appointment, though. Seven days.

lawbrat - They do know about Pie Day. It shouldn't surprise them that I've gained weight. That's a story for another day, though.

Thanks all! You're helping a lot.

[Nanina]

I don't think I could keep that secret. I am one of those better at keeping other peoples secrets than keeping my own. August is right around the corner that should help.
Thanks this was fun, and I did play today.

[mrtl]

Nanina - Welcome! Yes, if I had to wait longer, I wouldn't.

Thanks for participating. I have your link!

[suburban misfit]

I can keep secrets like nobody's business. It's scary how good I am at keeping secrets.

But I hate surprises. I will search for my Christmas presents, I will pester everyone until they tell me what they've bought, etc.

I think it's great that you're waiting. We didn't, for whatever reason.

[AndreaBT]

Ack! I had the same feeling as you when I got pregnant with Audrey; I wanted to tell them in person. And even though they only live a couple of hours away, it took something like a month and a half to be able to tell them!

And with Aislinn, I waited simply because, after four miscarriages, I was tired of being "wrong" and having to take the news back. I didn't wait three months, or even quite as long as we did with Audrey, but just until the lab results started coming back with really good numbers (and the one time I had to go out for follow-up bloodwork, it was Easter Sunday, and they were all AT MY HOUSE, so they were all suspicious, and had kind of guessed anyway).

[kalki]

I would be torn between telling them RIGHTNOW (because I, too, have trouble keeping good secrets) and wanting to give them the news in person.

I hate keeping secrets, even good ones.

[mrtl]

misfit - I like surprises, but am too impatient with holding it all in.

Andrea - Four! I can only imagine the emotional toll of informing people who knew.

Kalki - Precisely where I am. ARGH!

[Susie]

Ah, Glasshoppa, this reveals to us that your blog is therapy for you. You intended to talk about something else, but what you NEEDED to talk about made itself known . . .

Ahhh . . .

Do you hear the tinny music in the background?

BTW, we finished the first season of Deadwood on DVD. I don't think the second season is out. WHAT WILL I DO?

[Susie]

There's one other thing I would say, you know, IF I hadn't said too much already, probably: anticipation of such a wonderful event is joyful, is hopeful, lifts spirits, etc. It's a good thing. Some folks are missing out on some of that, maybe?

This is just my perspective, and I TOTALLY, honest and truly get that other perspectives, including the exact opposite, are equally valid and well-considered. Not trying to be right, just to say how I imagine I might feel, if I were in your shoes.

This is me, shutting up now.

[Mainline Mom]

Oh man, I SUCK at keeping secrets. When I peed on the stick my inlaws were visiting and we kept it from them until after my bloodtest. I couldn't even keep it from my boss more than a couple weeks.

[mrtl]

Susie - Review the first season. You'll always find something new. You can also play the cocksucker drinking game. Every time someone says it, drink.

And you are making me think. I'm thinking.

Mainline Mom - It helps with work at least that I'm not in the office. People would wonder when I passed on an occasional Friday fruity drink.

[RazDreams]

i've got a secret.........

[Ern]

That makes me feel SO special, to be a part of the whole blog world that is in on the little secret before even the grandparents! Hang in there. August will be there before you know it.

[KGrams]

I found your blog through Crayonz. I just want to say that I feel your pain. It is sooooo hard to keep such a big happy secret. We actually tried to get pg for a 1 1/2 years and kept it from the family as we didn't want the constant are you pg yet thing. Good Luck!

[kristine]

NO CONTROL OVER HERE.

I'm like you...I can't believe you've lasted this long!!

[mrtl]

Raz - I saw! It's too bad she doesn't have comments open so we can celebrate with her.

Ern - Telling the blogworld was a consolation for having to hold off on telling the parents. I couldn't keep my mouth THAT shut.

KGrams - Welcome! Oh the "are you pregnant yet" crap. MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!!!

Kristine - The desire comes and goes. It's always stronger when I've talked to them, which is why we have a family spokesbug now.

[La Pix]

Wow, mrtl...
I'm not sure I could do it. But I respect you for trying. I'm with Susie and others, if you tell them before planned you could mention how you and mister mrtl wanted to wait to make it very special for everyone. You can't lose.

I participated in Motif Monday, just in time to be Monday. This time I got a clue and put the link in the url field.

I am not known as the Master of the Obvious for nothin.

[mrtl]

La Pix - Thank you, MotO. Today was easier than others not to consider it. I think I'm going to write about it.