Struck

I have been "in love" precisely three times in my life (to those of the male persuasion, that is - I'm not counting the affairs I've had with such things as chocolate and pineapple Bavarian cream cake).

My first love was my high school boyfriend, Jimmy. The first hint that it wasn't going to last was that he and I were together during the summers over a few years, when he wasn't away at college, because there was no trusting that horndog. When we were together, we fought incessently, and being together didn't extend any amount of trust, anyway. Case in point was Carla, who lived in the apartment complex where I lifeguarded. Carla was one of those unfortunately beyond-pasty girls; no amount of baby oil smeared on her transluscence could help her get the least flush of color. Looking back, Carla must have been albino. But I digress. Carla was making googly eyes at my Jimmy every time he visited me at the pool. And, of course I believed him when he told me that that booger Louie must have given her his phone number, after she called him while I was sitting right there and he made no attempt to tell her to stop calling, that his girlfriend who he looooooved was sitting right next to him, that he didn't want anything to do with her. I may have looooooved him, but I wasn't stooopid. We broke up not too long after that.

Weeks later, Jimmy came crawling back. He looooooved me, after all, and couldn't live (for the rest of the summer) without me. The naive and optimistic little girl took over, and I spent the better part of a night writing really horrible poems professing my love for him. (Really, I'll post one of these if I ever find them. They're super good for a laugh.) Alanis Morissette could learn a lesson about irony here. As it would turn out, it was that night that Jimmy had a rompfest with Carla. I can't remember how I found out, but it resulted in another night spent writing horrible poems professing my disbelief and hate for him. The next time I saw him, I gave him a stack of all of the poems that I had ever written about him, neatly copied in my finest penmanship. In retrospect, I have to give Jimmy props for not publicly humiliating me with them. Granted, we'll have to wait and see what would happen if I do get famous. Egads!

My second love was Shawn, whose very name spoken aloud can make me shudder, and not in a good way. Shawn was a 6'5" Marine (I'm a 5' no change Very Small Person - holding his hand was like walking with my Daddy when I was young) who lived in the apartment complex where I lifeguarded (different year, different pool - I got around) the summer after 13th grade. He was a nice guy. So nice that my parents loooooooved him. So much that there was Much Friction when, after he had PCS'd to the other side of the country, we got engaged, I became enlightened that there was little in common and being a nice guy with a wonderful family and whom my parents loved would certainly not sustain "happily ever after" for us, and we broke up. Was it my fault that I broke up with him the day he bought my ring? I didn't know, and it wouldn't have made much of a difference anyway. Really, it wasn't going to work, and I was not going to settle.

The breakup resulted in a cross-country summer-long move to escape the friction at home. Things never have been the same between me and my parents, especially my mother. I still can't understand why she didn't support my decision 1000%, why she kept in touch with him, with his mother, sending him care packages in Saudi, trying to arrange a reconciliation.

My third love was and still is mister mrtl. I had moved home to student teach my final semester in college. He worked in an office near my mother's. I've already talked about the night we met.

I don't regret any of these relationships, as bad as things were at times and as stupid as I could be. The lessons I've learned from these relationships outweigh any of the negativity. Most importantly, I have learned the ABC's of love.

Attraction, not physical, but emotional and psychological as well

Beliefs that are compatible, especially in pursuits such as religion and child rearing

Communication that is open and honest

Decency to be respectful and considerate

That's such a loaded list, but it has come to represent my expectations in a relationship. It scares me so much to think of ever losing mister mrtl. Finding all of these traits in a relationship I liken to being struck by lightning. [Tangent - Mister mrtl was also in college when we met. He had the habit of writing thoughts on his folders, be it quotes from the instructor, classmates or songs, or his reaction to classroom happenings. One day I saw my full first name written underneath "She struck my heart like lightning" (from a song by Kings X). I still get goosebumps thinking of that... and a little teary.]

I sat next to a man on a plane once while heading home from a business trip in San Diego. He told me there was a conference going on at the hotel where he was staying for people who had been struck by lightning more than once. Apparently there was a pretty good amount of people there, but I'm still convinced that I'll go first.

next week's topic: feet

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Update: Following are links to participating blogs. If I've missed you here, comment with a link!

Amy, Bente, Catherine, Kalki, LadyBug, Lawbrat, Sharkey, She, more She, Squirl, Susie, Tania, Weetzie

Comments

[LadyBug]

Mister mrtl's "struck by lightning" declaration of love for you gave me goosebumps, too. That's so sweet/exciting/awesome.

[mrtl]

LadyBug - My word, you are quick!

[cat]

Ooooh, mrtl! Now I am TOTALLY inspired to count up all MY "looooooooooves"!! Hmmmmm... um, yah, this could take a while.

BTW: Love your ABC(d)'s. Spot on, babe. SPOT. ON.

[LadyBug]

I didn't realize I was so quick.
Perhaps my comment should've been FIRST??!!11oneone

[CircusKelli]

I love your ABC's! I'm copying that and telling that to Punkin and Sweet Pea and Buddy when they get old enough.

[ieatcrayonz]

You could totally write a book on ABCD.

"Ladies, do not search for Prince Charming, search for Mister ABCD."

[La Pix]

I will try to participate in this next week. Love this assignment thing.

Your post was great. Seriously.

AND I am still wondering if I am going to see a picture of your new lightning bolt?

[lawbrat]

That was fantastic mrtl. It was a great assignment. I cant wait till next Monday. My feet are my favorite body part...well, toes anyway, but their connected! I'm putting the ABCD's on my fridge. :-)

[kalki]

Great post. I think I dated Jimmy in 8th grade.

Feet, huh? Hmmmmm....

[mrtl]

Cat - I can only imagine how long it would take, assuming you're adding things like Constantine and Dickey Superman.

LadyBug - Well, ok. You got me there. ;)

Kelli - I would be honored.

ieatcrayonz - I like that. Mr. ABCD. could be the title.

La Pix - Participate whenever you want. I've heard so many people bitch about not knowing what to write about, and this is my way of helping.

And... I done told you that I won't be sharing that. Maybe you'll get an artistic rendering of it. That would have to do.

Lawbrat - I didn't see a connection between love and feet, just thought it would be less intense a topic. Now I'm wary that I'm catering to fetishes... hhahahaha

Kalki - Not MY Jimmy. Doing the math, it's just sick. (He was four years older than me.)

[Bente]

Good topic, good post. I did it this week! I'm not sure what I have to write about feet though...

[Susie]

Do y'all still have that folder? If not, I'd suggest that Mr. mrtl recreate it for you, as a special gift. I mean, if I knew him, and could suggest surprises for you, and all, without you knowing about them . . .

Feet, huh?

[mrtl]

Benta - You'll be amazed at what will come out if you give it a try. I don't know what I'm going to say, either. Bug had taken off her socks and put her cold feet on me when I was trying to think up a topic, so I put that.

Susie - I think it's around somewhere. We're both packrats when it comes to school stuff.

[Amanda B.]

Yeah, yeah...but what about the hot monkey lovin'?!

:D

[kalki]

Indeed - different boy, same breed.

[catherine]

I love your ABCD. I will share it with my single/divorced/friends who can never pick a decent guy.
I posted mine, although I just barely made the deadline. But, hey, it's still Monday!! Better than Wednesday!
FEET?????? Have you lost your mind?? I am a true overachiever when it comes to schoolwork, so I will have to start pondering this assignment WELL before the day it's due!!
Seriously... feet??? I think we should get extra credit for this one!

[Spurious Plum]

I have female friends who need to cut out your list and have it tattooed on their boobies or something. Is it copyrighted?

[mrtl]

Amanda - The hot monkey lovin' is all yours, honey!

Catherine - Awesome effort. I shall ponder your thoughts over some blueberry wine (bottle #2 is now open - woo hoo!). And yes, feet. Today was a little loaded. Next week can be lighter.

So much is going into this activity. The simple and silly topic component comes from a drama class I took in 7th grade. The teacher had us each write one object on a little slip of paper, then we took turns pulling the topics out of a hat to give impromptu speeches. Like I've said, it's amazing what you can come up with when you set your mind on some mundane topic. Everyone has a story about everything.

Plum - First fridges, now tattoos. Indeed I am honored. I'm not going to copyright what I see as common sense. If I do write a book someday (which surely would prompt Jimmy to post my poems on eBay), I'll stake claim then.

[Annejelynn]

my cousin Kyle has been struck by lightening twice in ONE week

[mrtl]

Wow Annejelynn! Does he belong to the club?? He should be getting bonus points for that one. (I'll assume from your inclusion of "has been" that he survived both.)

[Sharkey]

Great post, mrtl. I FINALLY posted my entry tonight.

Feet???

[mrtl]

Sharkey - feet...