Thus begins a random series of thoughts from my childhood. Teachers in England had us keep a daily journal, complete with one sentence and illustration.
I believe this is from 1977.
"Thursday, September 22nd. This is my grandfather and Jesus."
Notice Grandpa is still dead. And why is Jesus smiling?
I like this series already! Ever notice that Jesus never smiles? Does he? I don't think he is ever smiling in paintings, even ones with the children. I get the idea he was a pretty serious dude.
(Hey, guess what? I wasn't even born yet in 1977! I was several years from it, in fact. I know, I'm a bitch.)
Posted by: kalki | 2005.06.25 at 09:04 AM
Jesus is smiling because he is wearing an orange muumuu. How could you not smile?
Posted by: Von Krankipantzen | 2005.06.25 at 02:15 PM
Kalki - I'm totally bummed because none of the books I found have the famous "My brother is sad because Charlie is dead." (He's sitting next to the fish tank with a big frowny face, which I have a HUGE smile next to him as I watch my fish, Emily, swim around.) There are tons of boxes of books in the garage, so it must be hiding in one of them.
Kranki - ::slapping the forehead:: Why didn't I see that? It's so obvious.
Posted by: mrtl | 2005.06.25 at 05:58 PM
kalki, and all. If I weren't a techno dunce, I'd show you some smiling Jesuses. Last year in our Sunday School, we had a display of about a dozen different artists' depictions of Jesus, very different from one another. In a couple, he looked very much like a playful older brother type, smiling, eyes twinkling. I liked those. Supposedly, the Jesus you were most drawn to said something about your own spirituality, personality, etc. Anyhow, Jesus smiled. Smiles. :)
Posted by: Susie | 2005.06.25 at 08:10 PM
Susie, I think I've seen some of those...I just did a quick Google search, and found some great smiling/laughing Jesus pictures here: http://www.picturesofjesus4you.com/gallery1drawings.html
That's MY Jesus :) I 'specially like the ones with the children.
Posted by: AndreaBT | 2005.06.26 at 02:07 AM
Susie and Andrea - I have no problem with Jesus smiling. It's that he's smiling with my grandpa lying dead on the ground in front of him that gets me. Someone probably said to little mrtl that "Jesus smiles on dead people."
Posted by: mrtl | 2005.06.26 at 12:21 PM
Oh, um, I'm sorry, I was responding to kalki's "ever notice that Jesus never smiles." I thought maybe she hadn't ever seen art with Jesus smiling, as I hadn't, until fairly recently. As for Jesus smiling in your drawing . . . did they tell you your Grandpa went to be with Jesus? Maybe Jesus was happy to see him, as you would have been. I'm only guessing, love.
Posted by: Susie | 2005.06.26 at 03:05 PM
Susie - Kalki was speaking my mind. ;) Maybe the family did say he went to be with Jesus. BUT HE'S STILL DEAD! Not like Grampa's enjoying the visit. HE'S STILL DEAD! Sure, Jesus can be happy to see him... you see where I'm going with this. When people told me these things, I was still having the impression that the dead person would still be dead.
Posted by: mrtl | 2005.06.26 at 03:29 PM
I have no freakin' idea where you're going. Why would Jesus be happy to see a dead person? WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? No seriously, I am sorry that no one explained to you that Grandpa would be alive with Jesus. Seems like you needed a little more information. It is interesting; I know you see it as an expression of early doubt, which it may very well be. I saw it as an expression of early faith: Jesus is smiling, colorful, welcoming, you might say. True, Grandpa is still dead, but this is a moment in time; the moment when Grandpa died AND went to Jesus. If this were a comic strip, what would little mrtl have drawn for the next frame? Would Grandpa hop up and party with Jesus? Or would Jesus prop Grandpa's dead ass up a la "Weekend at Bernie's" and continue to smile and look happy? I guess it depends on what they told you. Whatever it was, I'm pretty sure I'd have told it a little differently ;)
Posted by: Susie | 2005.06.26 at 04:17 PM
Susie I love you! Actually, this was several months after Grandpa died (I have earlier journal entries about Daddy being sad because his Daddy is dead and Daddy preparing to go home for the funeral). That's why I reacted to it as I did above (WTF?) and posted what I did. I'd like to believe that Heaven is a place where people are no longer dead (in that human sense), but get to enjoy their favorite things, favorite people who have also left the earth, and laugh at us idiots down here (and help us out when we need it). Looking at this, I really don't know what I believed as a child.
I've established that there wasn't a whole lot of discourse on such topics. I was told what to believe and left to my own devices to make what I made of it all. There was no questioning. I know that's how it was as a preteen, at least. When I was a lot younger, I'd hope that any questions I asked were honored with thoughtful responses. ... If I asked any questions. Chances are that I didn't.
Posted by: mrtl | 2005.06.26 at 04:29 PM
I like to think of heaven in the same way. Children's art is what I miss about working with kids. I don't miss anything else about it, and I don't miss that enough to work with them again, but I am fascinated by what is communicated via the pictures -- the colors chosen, the body parts missing or exaggerated, who's smiling or not, all of that. Orange Jesus and dead Grandpa. What were you thinking? We may never know. OH, that reminds me, advice: when Bug explains her drawings to you, take dictation and attach it to the back, before you put the art away in your keeping box :)
Posted by: Susie | 2005.06.26 at 04:53 PM
Susie - Will do! Thanks!
Posted by: mrtl | 2005.06.26 at 06:28 PM
Is Jesus giving the thumbs up sign?
Mrtl, I know we differ on views of Christianity, but that's okay. I still love you and respect your choice. I went through many years of questioning before I came to where I am today. Of course, Susie and I will always be here for you, in the back, by the coffee filters and stale creamer, should you ever need our help.
Posted by: ieatcrayonz | 2005.06.26 at 08:25 PM
Very sweet picture. I love pictures that little kids draw. Hope you post some more. :)
Posted by: Cherry | 2005.06.27 at 11:16 AM
Late, late, late re-responding, but I was probably replying to Kalki too. After I posted I had second thoughts, wondering if that was inappropriate, understanding how you feel about God. Sorry if it rubbed you the wrong way :(
And your childhood experiences with religion sound like mine...I was told what to believe, but there was never any discussion to make sure I understood it. Somewhere along the way God became real for me, despite how I learned about Him as a child. I'm making sure that as I teach Audrey and Aislinn, I leave them lots of room to ask questions so they can have the freedom to choose to believe (I hope) without having to do it the round-about way I did.
Posted by: AndreaBT | 2005.06.27 at 12:14 PM
ieatcrayonz - Thanks for the support. I take no issue with other peoples' beliefs, even when I don't understand them. Granted, a little part of me is jealous of that club. I can't force myself to believe.
Cherry - I do have more, and I did find some more books while digging in the garage yesterday. Woo hoo!
Andrea - You posted about your own beliefs. It's an open discussion here, and not inappropriate at all.
I shared the picture because I found it amusing at what it was hinting at (my misunderstanding of what happened after death considering what I was probably being told). My grandfather's death was my "first." We were living in England at the time, and only my father traveled home for the services, so it wasn't until... have the think here... Angie died in 1987 that I experienced the whole pomp and circumstance of death. That in itself was royally screwed up, so unfair. And that well after my resolve with religion was pretty weakened.
Looking back, it's hard for me to imagine another outcome for my beliefs.
Posted by: mrtl | 2005.06.27 at 12:30 PM