Blogetiquette

Lately I've been thinking a lot about the etiquette concerning blog comments. I have many questions.

• If someone comments, do I respond in my comment section, in their comment section (if they have one) or should I send an e-mail?
• If I comment on my blog, how do I know the person will come back and look at comments from that day?
• How would I react to nasty or negative comments? Would I delete them, respond, be offended or upset? I honestly don't know.
• If, as indicated by my stats, it looks like someone has taken the time to read every post in my blog, shouldn't he or she post something? Is it wrong for me to even address this? It freaks me out that someone's taken the time to read the whole thing and not say a word. Who are you and what do you think?

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Update: No sooner had I posted this when I got an email. Thank you again for easing my paranoia!

Comments

[Sharkey]

Busted! Did you write this post about me? When I started looking at your archives today, I didn't intend to read every. single. post. But here it is a few hours later, and your current post (which wasn't there when I started) mentions a lurker. Good thing I commented about the bluebonnet thing before I saw this entry--does that get me off the hook?

[Susie]

Lurkers enjoy us, or they wouldn't keep coming around. I lurked for months at dooce, very much enjoying her and her commenters, before I said anything. So while it does feel a little weird, don't let it creep you out. Some people are naturally more spectators than participants. I don't think it means anything bad. I did like what Dr. JF did, having his own personal de-lurking day. I might do that someday.

I like to reply to commenters on my site. I followed Bucky's example, because I always liked to go back there and see what she had to say to me, even before I started my blog. And somehow it just seems polite to me. I think if people notice that you're doing that, they'll come back to see what you've said. And even if they don't, no harm done. I do sometimes go to someone's site and reply to their comment, especially if it's someone new, I just thank them for stopping in. And I am SO unqualified to answer these things; much newer than you are at all this. It's just that I think about these things, too. I've only had 1 nasty comment, which I responded to with kindness, and they never came back (so far).

[mrtl]

Oh Sharkey, I love you! I wasn't going to call you out - responded to your post via email. You are definitely off the hook with lots of spare change.

Honestly, this was the first time I had checked my stats and saw every page listed, and was hoping you didn't go away without saying something. Thanks!!

Susie, thank you for your insight. With all the blogs I read, it's hard for me to keep track where I've commented, which is made worse when Blooger isn't letting me in. And I'm not surprised in how you handled your nasty comment.

[cat]

You got a nasty comment? Nu-uh! I don't understand how someone thinks it is any way appropriate to leave nasty comments on someone's blog. If you don't like what you read, you click away, right? RIGHT?! Thinking on, I have no idea how I would handle an ass troll (DooceLingo).

As for lurking, I am guilty of that. I lurked on Dooce for AGES before saying anything. Kind of like scoping out the playground in the new school, trying to figure out where and if you fit in...

[mrtl]

cat, I didn't get a nasty comment. Susie did (I didn't see it, though). I don't know if my actions at Dooce meet the definition of lurking. I fanatically read through her entire site and then maintained each day for a while before noticing that she had comments open somewhere. I didn't lurk in the comments section. I was sucked right into that black hole of time eradication. Come to think of it, I did email Dooce fairly early in my reading of her site to share a picture I took during a vacation in Utah; it was of a neon restaurant sign that boasted "Home of the Ho-Made Pies." I included some praise with that.

[Amanda B.]

I usually just respond in the comments, and return email with email. That seems to work. As far as nasty comments go, I find that being polite defuses it almost immediatly. Of course it bothers me at first, but I just shake it off, post something sweet, and try to move on.

I don't keep up with my stats, so I can't help with the last question, sorry.

[mrtl]

Thanks Amanda! I guess I'm going to have to work on remembering where I've been. Geez, that sounds like an STD commercial.

[The Merry Widow]

I too have wondered if I'm supposed to respond to blog comments. I usually don't, but then I spend the rest of my blog time feeling bad about it. Is there a blog hand book that we can reference?

[mrtl]

hmmmm.... Quick check at Amazon tells me there isn't, MW. If I had more experience with this, and were so inclined, that would be a nice little side endeavor! (There are things like Blogging for Dummies, but nothing specifically on etiquette.)